A new set of rules – but the same confusion about lockdown easing

Enjoy picking your way through the myriad of nuances over social distancing, but – whatever you do – don’t forget the paper towel at the barbecue, warns Janet Street-Porter

There are plenty of rules to follow if you’re heading to a barbecue (iStock)

Another day in captivity, with a new set of rules from mission control, aimed at “easing” lockdown. From Monday (and why not over the weekend?) it’s OK (in England) to invite up to five people to visit, as long as you stay outside and maintain social distancing.

TV presenter Dr Xand van Tulleken was on the radio on Friday morning unpicking the new etiquette – managing to turn hosting a barbecue into something so complicated Boris Johnson couldn’t have done the job any better. Apparently, it’s all about managing risk, if you feel anxious, pack your own plates. Stand two metres apart at all times. If you need help, that’s the size of a picnic blanket… assuming you have a special blanket for picnics and not just cheap chairs from the petrol station, like most people. Outside means outside, except when you need to urinate.

If you have to walk through the house, make sure you are carrying kitchen paper, wipe all door handles and surfaces you might touch en route. And if you use the toilet, wash your hands and – really important this – DON’T FORGET TO CLOSE THE LID AFTER FLUSHING! Maybe we should be told to put our hands up first, to get permission so that access can be cleared in advance.