Our hair reveals so much about us – and how we want to be seen. The government should let us get it cut

The work of a hairdresser or barber can bring so much joy, says Janet Street-Porter, so if social distancing measures are followed correctly, why can’t we have that back?

‘Strictly Come Dancing’ dancer and choreographer James Jordan has seen his hairstyle change during lockdown (ITV)

Would you break the law for a haircut? If I’m brutally honest, the one person I’m missing isn’t a friend or workmate – it’s Madeline, my hairdresser.

A lot has been written about how events of the past few weeks are affecting mental health, and worrying about your hair might seem trivial, when thousands of people are seriously ill and dying. But what happens on our head affects what’s going on inside our head too – there’s nothing better than a good haircut to lift the spirits.

Hair is how we present ourselves to the world and it’s a key part of a politician’s persona. Throughout the crisis Angela Merkel has maintained her usual no-nonsense bob, signalling she has everything under control. As for Boris Johnson, who always looks as if his hair has been cut with toenail clippers, appearing dishevelled is a continuation of the status quo.

The prime minister been seriously ill, he’s a new dad, but his hair remains exactly the same. His nemesis at PMQs, Sir Keir Starmer, still manages to maintains a perfectly groomed quiff slightly reminiscent of Woody from Toy Story. Transport minister Grant Shapps, on the other hand, seems to be sporting that fashion crime – a mullet. Chairing the daily briefing on Thursday, he was described by one hack as resembling “a member of an Eighties soft rock band” – Dire Straits or Marillion.

When normally well-groomed men stop shaving and allow hair to sprout naturally, it can be unexpectedly revealing – the Strictly dancer and choreographer James Jordan seems to have turned into a caveman. On TV this week, cradling his new baby, we saw a new side to his character. Hair – how we tame it, trim it and manipulate it – is key to how we want the world to see us.

My hair is part of my DNA. If it’s a mess, I feel insecure and anxious – and I don’t think that’s feeble. I have a decent brain, but it’s my hair you see first. I’ve tried cutting the fringe with nail scissors, but the results have been appalling. Dyeing is no better, everything looks adequate from the front, but God knows what’s happening at the back. I’ve taken to wearing a knitted hat when shopping. Caring abut your hair isn’t the prerogative of the young – for older people, it’s a way of cheating age, of challenging stereotypes.

We will come out of this epidemic at some stage, but in the meantime, while the official obsession with statistics and daily focus on the death rate is understandable, it’s not really helpful for our mental health. There are lot of rules and regulations (many of which are utterly confusing) about how we should protect our physical wellbeing and avoid contamination, but not very much about how to remain positive in the face of so many restrictions. The opening of golf and shooting clubs and permission to play tennis might be welcome for some, but it’s not doing much for me.

Hairdressers are as important as garden centres – and yet the sector has been told it can’t open until the start of July at the earliest. More than half a million people work in the hair and beauty industry, many of whom are freelance. They visit old people’s homes, plucking chin hairs, giving discounted trims and perms, and are a vital resource for those whose quality of life has been so diminished. Your hair tells the world so much about you – whether you’re my Auntie Vi in her late eighties in Llandudno, or Boris Johnson in Downing Street.

The industry has submitted guidelines for reopening to the government, which include wearing PPE, screens between clients, a strict enforcement of social distancing and a restricted number of appointments. Is all this necessary when you look at the number of people packed onto public transport every morning in London? Why are hairdressers being considered differently to the rest of the retail sector? If stylists and beauticians test negative for Covid-19 – if they wear face masks and deep clean their salons – then why can’t they open for business along with hardware stores and convenience stores?

Hair matters so much more than we like to admit. Last week pictures of David Beckham shopping were published, which showed his thinning hairline – while more recent pictures seem to show him supporting a fuller head of hair. There was much debate about the difference and what thickening product the former footballer might be using to camouflage the hair loss.

I’m not sure why Beckham doesn’t just shave the lot off – something my partner did a few years back. He still misses his hair, but his relationship with Badger the Border terrier has more than made up for that. The other day, I gave him (Peter, not the dog) a buzz cut because the cranial fuzz was looking pathetic. Perhaps David isn’t ready to take this step, which signals the end of one kind of masculinity and the start of another.

Nicola Sturgeon is a Marmite politician, but she’s come up trumps during lockdown by posting images of herself dyeing and cutting her own hair on social media. This, after right-wing unionists took to Twitter to suggest the first minister had been breaking lockdown by having her hair done by a professional – because she looked so well groomed.

Prolonged confinement has provoked a torrent of low-level sniping, but Sturgeon rose to the challenge and responded magnificently. She revealed her hairdresser had left tapering scissors and the dyeing products outside her home which she collected and then cut her hair following instructions during a Zoom session.

This is a sentence I never thought I’d write – well done, Nicola Sturgeon, you have risen in my estimation.