In the real world we don’t need celebrity do-gooders trying to cheer us up

I appreciate the effort, but most of us have bigger things to worry about on our own doorsteps, writes Janet Street-Porter

Bono is trying to raise spirits on social media (Getty)

Celebrity do-gooders are singing on Facebook and YouTube to cheer us up but the results can be excruciating. From Bono to Sir Anthony Hopkins.

Thank you for your efforts, but what I really need isn’t a tune or a bit of shakily filmed slapstick, but a bag of flour and some fresh fruit.

Faced with a lack of employment for the forseeable future, with concerts, plays and film sets closed down, it’s important that well-known performers keep in the public eye, just to remind us (and casting agents) how wonderfully talented they are when work comes round again. Am I a complete cynic? (Answer – yes).

But In the real world, there’s another kind of drama – this morning’s writing was interrupted by the sound of chainsaws – I went out in my tracksuit bottoms to scream at Network Rail men who were cutting down all the flowering fruit trees just over my garden wall.

They claimed it was for “safety reasons”. But why choose a time of year when birds are nesting? And this particular bit of track near Whitstable in Kent has never been closed by a falling tree and is home to rich wildlife. The resulting devastation is thoughtless and unnecessary. I hope the workmen filmed my expletive-laden rant because this kind of tree felling is pure vandalism.