My local cafe has banned children – how pathetic

Children enrich public spaces, teaching us to care and be kind, writes Anita Slater

Children should feel welcome in spaces like cafes, where they can observe the daily ups and downs of community life (Getty)

My local cafe, known for cosy hot chocolates and weekend catch-ups over carrot cake, made the decision last week to ban children under five. A misleading placard outside states that children are “welcome” in the cafe – but only from 7am-noon on weekdays and 8am-10am on weekends.

The ban discriminates against parents, who are likely sleep-deprived and struggling with the sense of isolation that too often accompanies parenthood. I’m not a parent myself but I support the right of parents to share cafes, not simply because parents and carers deserve a break, but because children enrich public spaces, teaching us to care and be kind.

I admit that I have regularly tensed at the sound of children screaming over dropped socks as I try to meet a deadline over coffee. As a freelance writer, I spend a great deal of time fretting over work in cafes and can understand that people who use these spaces to relax or work deserve peace as well. However, a ban like this assumes that children only exist to be disruptive or troublesome. This kind of attitude doesn’t create a peaceful environment.

A restriction of this kind forgets that children under five are raised by stressed parents, families, and carers. They are exhausted, juggling the demands of day care, employment and mental health. Mothers and fathers need a space to connect with others, to talk and meet with friends and family in welcoming public spaces when the demands of childcare feel relentless.

In an area like mine, already infamous for its heavily white, middle-class demographic, introducing a rule like this will simply create conflict – and it already has. Complaints have been coming in since last week. In a recent Tripadvisor review, a customer describes seeing a mother exit in tears with her baby, after the manager threatened to call the police when she and her partner were asked to leave, stating that their child was a “health and safety risk”.

Another review on Zomato shows that management has been previously hostile towards children. Last year, a customer with a three-month-old child was asked to leave.

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This move also has worrying implications for marginalised groups that already feel like an “inconvenience”. In Covid Britain, where disabled people are experiencing unprecedented levels of loneliness and depression, what might this ban mean for parents of children with disabilities?

These sorts of attitudes surely create a hostile working environment, where staff already stretched thin now also have the responsibility of enforcing restrictions and are at risk of being fired if they do not. Memories of working in retail with entitled customers, busy crowds and impossible demands still make me flinch. However, restrictions like these will only serve to isolate time-stretched staff, overworked parents, and other marginalised groups further from each other.

Throughout the pandemic, calls to create more inclusive and caring communities have too often failed to prompt meaningful change. Children should feel welcome in spaces like cafes, where they can observe the daily ups and downs of community life over hot chocolate and cake.