Like Suni Lee, I blame Twitter for all my under-achievements

Agog at the athletic prowess on display at the Olympics, Will Gore tries to find an excuse for his chronic procrastination

Suni Lee ‘only’ got bronze in the uneven bars (on top of a gold and silver in other events) (AFP via Getty)

The Olympics is at once the greatest sporting inspiration and the most desperate emphasiser of most people’s athletic inadequacy.

Twelve-year-olds are skateboarding to the podium; I couldn’t stand still on a board, let alone ride it. Swimmers complete four lengths of a pool in the time it takes me to do one – though I’m pretty sure my local pool is about half the size of the one in Tokyo, so I’m probably flattering myself. And l suspect my most productive activity in track and field would be building a sandcastle in the long jump pit.

There have been occasional hints of the strains that can accompany top-level sporting endeavours, most notably in Simone Biles’s withdrawal from most of the gymnastics events in order to protect her mental health. And I don’t suppose there are many serious people watching the Games who assume the triumphs come easily.