What to wear in New York City? Apparently, anything

In the harsh Big Apple climate, Holly Baxter disects fashion trends that seemingly last for a ‘New York Minute’

When your ‘Michelin Man’ chic coat and feature-covering scarf don’t do the trick, a nice pair of thick goggles can come in handy! (AFP)

Before I left for New York, one of my friends told me that I would have to spend much more money on clothes once I lived in the city. “Everyone I know who has moved there has really had to up their game in terms of what they wear,” she said, looking at me in a way that I chose to believe was not pointed. This friend has an Instagram following of “fashion people” and takes pictures of herself before work to catalogue the perfectly put-together combination of colorful layers and accessories she decided on earlier that morning. She is never the kind of person who stabs herself in the eye with a mascara wand on the subway or who has to wear bikini bottoms on laundry day. She has a tripod for her iPhone and painted her hallway to best offset her social media pictures. She has never got out of bed 15 minutes before she has to leave.

The idea of having to dedicate as much of my time and income as she does to that kind of existence frankly terrified me.

Imagine my delight, then, when I moved to New York and discovered that people only care about what you wear in three months of the year: March, April and October. Aside from that, you can live in a sports bra or a portable igloo and nobody even gives you a second glance.

For this, we have to thank the New York climate. Bitterly cold in the winter and swelteringly hot in the summer, year after year it delivers the kind of weather where you don’t have the headspace to think about what anyone else is wearing before you reach the nearest place of shelter. Most New Yorkers have one big, puffy coat lined with feathers that could charitably be described as “Michelin Man chic”. Combine that with a scarf that obscures all your features except your eyes, an unstylish bobble hat garish enough that you can pick it out of a pile of clothes, two jumpers of clashing colours over a thermal vest and a pair of solid plastic shoes and you’ve got an ideal outfit for battling January or February in the Big Apple. Everyone else on the street will be wearing a similar combination, and nobody will judge you for it. At their desks in their offices, these walking duvets have nice shoes to change into and large coat racks to divest onto. When they leave, however, they become a different species entirely. There is no posturing on a midwinter New York street.

When March and April hit, there is a sliver of time in which you can step outside into normal temperatures and air out a particularly fashionable coat. Hell, you could even start brushing your hair. For a few gloriously mild days, you will be able to use your delicate open-toe sandals before they start sticking to the pavement. This is the optimal time for Instagram pictures.

You will keep baby wipes at work because the humidity combined with the pollution means you end every commute with your bare arms and legs covered in black grime

By June, however, everything has changed. Sunglasses are on, clothes are off. You will live in a potato sack again, except this time it’s an airy potato sack. It is the skinny cousin of the feathery potato sack you lived inside in winter. You will cover your feet so you don’t skid along the floor in a pool of your own sweat. You will keep baby wipes at work because the humidity combined with the pollution means you end every commute with your bare arms and legs covered in black grime. You will own a wardrobe of cheap, billowy T-shirts in block colours and long skirts or thin trousers in neutral tones.

If you want to see beautiful people with slight tans and excellent fashion sense, check in during springtime or October. That’s when we all buy clothes in the sale and try to make an effort for the sake of the tourists. But if you’re planning on visiting any other time, don’t fret about your wardrobe. New Yorkers are not so precious that they will freeze or burn rather than look downright ridiculous. Some of them even wear Crocs.