Abuse in schools: ‘He used to pull me close while smacking his lips and staring at my chest’

Raza Hamdani spoke to several victims of sexual harassment in Pakistani schools and discovered that very little is being done to combat it

Students are scared to talk to their parents about the harassment (Getty/iStockphoto)

Before doing my biology practical exam, I heard a lot about how the invigilator would behave inappropriately with students. I went in and he was oddly nice to me … Then later he touched me on the hip while I was walking back to my seat and told me I did a great job and was a nice girl. I was frozen in shock but I tried to brush it off and play it down because of how uncomfortable and embarrassed I had been feeling.”

“Sir W was extremely inappropriate. He used to grab me by my arm and pull me near him while smacking his lips and staring at my chest … I stopped attending his classes because he made me feel uncomfortable. My grades suffered because concentrating in his class was impossible.”

These are statements from two students of elite educational institutions. The first is from a student of one of Islamabad’s premier private colleges, Bahria College; the second is from an A-Level student at an elite private school, Lahore Grammar School (LGS).

Besides being educated at top-notch schools, and being sexually harassed, both girls decided to post what happened on social media after their institutions failed to take appropriate action and give them justice. At Bahria College, the student alleged that the sexual harassment happened in the presence of the biology teacher. “My teacher told me not to say anything about the harassment as my marks 'were in the examiner's hands'.”

The LGS student spoke to her school administrator but was instead slut-shamed and “scolded for wearing revealing clothes and told not to come to her with complaints”.

Pakistan was shocked when an A-Level student from LGS posted news of the alleged harassment by teachers. The brave act gave courage to many students to come forward and narrate their ordeal at the hands of these teachers. The frustration and anger of students which came out on social media reveals that the problem goes back to 2015.

The Independent talked to few students on condition of anonymity and they claimed that the situation was so bad that in one year 100 students complained about sexual harassment, from ogling teachers to invading personal space, to sexting and sending inappropriate pictures. A former student of LGS sent a statement to The Independent describing how one of the accused teachers, AS, sent her suggestive messages and told her that he fancied her sexually.

Shabana* said AS taught her government and politics. “Back in 2016 he taught me for two years. He kept in touch even after I graduated and would send suggestive messages on and off until I had to block him. I did not understand how power dynamics work, how consent works, how manipulation works because I was a 17-year-old impressionable girl. He started laying the trap at that time and then told me he fancied me sexually. I blocked him after that.”

Dozens of students from two different branches of LGS, where AS taught, have shared their testimonies and screenshots of the texts and pictures they received from him. Shabana said: “There have been numerous students from every batch he taught, every single class he taught and all the students he coached.”

Another student alleged in her post about teacher Sir W: “He used to stare at our boobs all the time. And he tried to pat me on my back. I shuffled my chair and he put his hand on my head and said you are like my betiyaaan {daughters}.” She goes on to talk about how he put his hand all over another girl who was wearing a low back.”

The social media outburst regarding alleged sexual harassment by teachers of LGS resulted in 5,000 people signing a petition, calling on the school administration to take action against the accused faculty members.

The girls also insisted on action against the two administrators – Maira Omair Rana and Rubina Shakeel – to whom year after year, batch after batch of girls went and complained about the alleged harassment. One girl writes: “So Maira Omair Rana has been slut-shaming girls and silencing them for making allegations against male members of the faculty of 1A-1. This woman continues to preach “morals” and “ethics” while being a deeply rooted cause of the problem along with Rubina Shakeel.”

My parents would just brush aside the issue,  saying I was imagining things and the teacher was just trying to be friendly

The school administration terminated services of four faculty members – AS, Sir W, SI and US – with immediate effect. And Maira and Rubina were suspended by the school management.

Despite numerous efforts made by The Independent to contact the accused, they did not respond. However, Maira broke silence herself when she posted on social media: “Recently, a number of students raised their voices against sexual harassment in education institutions. I admire their courage to help bring a truly heinous issue to the forefront and pray that every single victim of sexual harassment, anywhere, finds closure, peace, and justice… I am absolutely clear on the fact that I made sure my students feel safe, protected, and heard. It has deeply upset and disappointed me that some of my students feel and believe otherwise … Trying cases on social media is irresponsible, reckless, and ineffective. I look forward to justice being served after the cases have been tried in courts of law. May justice, truth and humanity prevail.”

Did they tell their families?

Few students from LGS admitted that they neither told their parents nor siblings or anyone close. Uzma* said she could not muster the courage to tell her parents. “I did not know and still do not know how they would react. Would they just brush aside the issue by saying you are imagining things and the teacher might be trying to get friendly? Would they believe me that it’s not my fault and I did nothing to lead on the teacher? I have not mentioned this to anyone except my very close friend and unfortunately she had the same experience to share.”

She says she still often thinks about it and goes into depression. It is so hard not to think about it as this horrifying experience flashes in front of her eyes. “The tighter I close my eyes, the more vivid it becomes.”

Bahria College, Islamabad's premier college, where allegations of sexual harassment have been posted online (JHK119)

Shahana*, the mother of one student, told The Independent she refused to share the burden of failing her daughter by not acting and put the blame on the society. “Pakistani society is such that it would always blame the girl. I believed my daughter but if I go and raise the issue with the school principal, my daughter’s friends, our relatives and our friends would come to know. They would not believe her and most likely her friends’ parents would stop them from meeting my daughter and call her a person of bad character.”

If she did not talk to the school management then what did she do? “I talked to my daughter and asked her to start tying up her hair, and spread her dupatta (a long scarf which is mostly part of the uniform). I also advised her to make every effort to ignore such behaviour or moves from the faculty members.”

How will it impact the girls?

One of the girls has written: “Having personally experienced something inappropriate from AS I’d say this: he became friendly with me before my 18th birthday. He told me after my 18th he fancied me, sexually. By this point, I thought of him as a friend. I didn’t say anything. He sexted. I never replied back with anything. But I didn’t stop him.

“For years I thought I should have stopped him. I should have said no. And that maybe this meant I wasn’t exploited. But I was his student. I was a kid honestly, he wasn’t. He made me feel that it was okay. When I did say no, he did lash out at me. I didn’t want to be in his bad books.

“I felt all this was 'consensual' because I never said NO but actually I did tell him several times I was uncomfortable with this. He knew he operated in the grey. So technically no one could question him. He told me this. He fancied girls younger than me. He told me about them. I know four girls who had the same experience.”

Saira Ashraf Kanjoo, a clinical psychologist, says in this specific case, the girl is traumatised. “She is clearly confused as to whether she led the teacher on, was it consensual or was she a victim. She is still unable to make up her mind whether it was her fault. She is not clear whether she is a victim because she could not act assertively. So she starts blaming yourself.”

The government’s inquiry also hit a snag because students refused to come forward to give a statement to the police and the committee

She says she may have difficulties with other relationships because she will not be able to trust anyone. “She will have issues taking decisions in future because she could not make the right decisions at the time.”

Kanjoo says she has seen children being affected by teachers who discuss issues not appropriate to discuss with children. “These scars remain for life and these children start to think that perhaps it is their fault and this leads to regret, blame, guilt and anger.”

Kanjoo adds that parents are also at fault, especially in Asian societies where they do not educate their daughters or teach them that they should to talk to their parents if bad things happen. “Sex education and discussing sex and harassment is still taboo in south Asian societies, even in the 21st century. Unless parents talk to their children about sex and sexual harassment, children will not open up to their own parents. And if they do not open up to their own parents who else can they approach for advice?”

Rabia is a former student of LGS who came out openly on social media and raised her voice on the alleged sexual harassment. She was one of the few students who did not get harassed but witnessed many students in tears. “I am glad students came out and made public the names of these teachers, photos and their deeds. I did not expect the posts to go viral or that LGS management would take action against teachers and administrators.”

She went on to say that making this public showed the frustration of the students, who had tried to raise this issue with the administration and were told to keep quiet. “Going public shows the frustration of students who on the one hand faced sexual harassment and on the other complete lack of empathy and compassion from the administration.”

She faced a lot of criticism on social media for taking a principled stand and playing her part in highlighting the issue. “Many messaged asking me to stop this media trial. They did not believe these teachers could have performed such acts. I was pressured by threats of legal action. Many parents came on to social media in support of LGS and the teachers. I stood firm, mainly because I am in the US now. Had I been in Pakistan, my response might have been different to the threats of legal action.”

The government of Punjab sprang into action after the social media hype and ordered an inquiry into the matter. However, the government’s inquiry also hit a snag because students refused to come forward to give a statement to the police and the committee. Police officials say that none of the victims have come forward, which makes prosecution immensely difficult.

Sarah Ahmed, of the Child Protection and Welfare Bureau, Punjab, said that she asked "students to come to my office and give their statements or at least give us written and signed statements, but after many days I still haven't received a single complaint.”

She added that the provincial education ministry was also waiting for students to come forward. “We are firm on providing justice to the students but we cannot make a strong case if we do not have statement from the victims.”

It is impossible to gauge the extent of the problem of sexual harassment of students at the hands of faculty: there is no public record and few victims register complaints. Educational institutions in Pakistan have the real task of fighting sexual harassment and addressing the complaints of the students. They cannot brush the issues under the carpet to save their reputations. These institutions need to investigate complaints and maintain zero tolerance to such behaviour.

* names have been changed have to protect the identities of those interviewed