One in five women are victims of consistent verbal abuse, study finds

New research by domestic violence charity NO MORE reveals that verbal abuse is widespread and has a lasting impact on victims, Saman Javed reports

If you feel like you no longer have choices, please speak to others you feel safe around, survivor says (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

It has been eight years since Rebecca Peters*, was granted a restraining order against her ex-partner. She had been subjected to extreme verbal threats for months, when one day it escalated to violence, and he broke her porch window. “After giving statements to the police, and listening to their careful questioning, I was finally able to see that what I was experiencing was abuse,” she says.

Since then, the road to recovery has been a long process with many ups and downs. “Over the course of time, I have learned to understand what abuse is, and how better to look out for it,” she says. “If you feel like you’re being controlled or manipulated, like you no longer have choices, or if you would be afraid to voice your opinion to your partner, please speak to others you feel safe around. As that simply isn’t right.”

Unfortunately, Peters’ experience is not rare. New research from domestic violence charity NO MORE and Avon has found that one in five women face “consistent” verbal abuse from their partners, while more than a third (36 per cent) have insecurities about their self-worth as a result.

A survey of 8,300 women in the UK, Poland, Italy, Russia, South Africa, Turkey, Romania and the Philippines found that 35 per cent of respondents have changed an aspect about themselves because of comments made by a partner. The statistics were highest among 25 to 34-year-olds, with two out of five experiencing verbal abuse and 39 per cent changing themselves as a result.

To mark this year’s Global 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, NO MORE and Avon have pledged to help the public recognise verbal abuse and its role in coercive control, domestic violence and intimate partner violence.

Of the women surveyed, one in 10 said they were too scared to seek help because of a controlling partner, while another tenth said they didn’t know where to turn. “These barriers to help-seeking behaviours result in many survivors becoming trapped in abusive relationships,” NO MORE said.

Most of the negative comments directed towards women were about their general appearance, their intelligence, their career, choice of clothing or their weight. Additionally, 55 per cent of women said their partner had aimed criticism at their friends or family – a common tactic used by abusers to manipulate victims and alienate them from their support network.

Pamela Zaballa, global executive director of NO MORE said that while verbal abuse is a serious and prevalent issue in itself that can have a “long-lasting toll” on a victim’s self-esteem, it can also be a precursor and escalate to physical violence. “Therefore, it is critical to increase awareness and ensure that verbal abuse is not overlooked, trivialised nor tolerated,” Zaballa said.

With 81 per cent of women saying that more needs to be done to educate men on their beliefs towards women, Avon and NO MORE have also launched an online portal explaining the signs of verbal abuse, what to do if someone you know is in an abusive relationship and where to go for help.

You can access the portal here.

*Name has been changed to protect privacy.