‘Forget helicopter parenting. I’m a whirlwind – the yin to nanny Rosalee’s yang’

Charlotte Cripps is wearing baggy jumpers in 85-degree heat to hide her belly, which is bigger than the average yummy-mummy tum was at full-term pregnancy

Illustration by Amara May

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder and this was the case when the kid’s nanny, Rosalee, returned from the Philippines. Not wanting to burst that bubble, I resisted the temptation to check my name in her phone contacts to see if, indeed, I am still a bura (witch in Tagilog).

Even my friends, who had first said it was the universe removing her from my life for the better, now thought it was some kind of lesson for us both in appreciating each other – which perhaps it was. Lola was excited and stood by the window waiting for her to arrive. We all briefly hugged before her now-retired mum, who used to clean at my dad’s house, launched into “but she needs a pay rise”, which was long overdue.

I noticed her mum was dripping in gold jewellery – how strange? Is it from Accessorise or real gold? I wonder. I was under the impression all the money Rosalee made went back to her family in the Philippines?