Stand by your beds! Can life lessons from the military bring inner peace?

Simple life lessons from a Sandhurst major-general can create a sense of ease and calm, and add a positive spin to the day, discovers Christine Manby

Illustration by Tom Ford

You know what they say about buses? You don’t see one for ages then three come along at once? The same is true of deadlines. It seems I’m never working towards just one deadline. I’m always working towards three at the same time. I’ve been toggling between a novel, a non-fiction book and this column while the washing up sits in the sink and the laundry pile threatens to tip over and suffocate me whenever I open the bedroom door. And all the time the dodgy flashing on the roof remains unfixed and the rain continues to pour.

With all that going on, it’s the perfect time to put the kettle on and crack open another self-help book. But not my usual fare, which will tell me that I’m doing just fine even though the house is falling down around me. A feel-good glow isn’t enough. I need some tougher love so this time it’s going to be Stand Up Straight, 10 Life Lessons from the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst by Major General Paul Nanson (Century £12.99).

The celebrity puffs are promising. “Sandhurst helped me to discover my potential. Now discover yours,’’ says Tim Peake, the astronaut and Sandhurst alumnus. “Brilliant, practical advice. Can help transform your mindset and life,’’ claims Ollie Ollerton, star of SAS: Who Dares Wins. In the absence of having a real life Ollerton standing over me and yelling while I get those deadlines met, Stand Up Straight has to be the next best thing.

The very first lesson has a familiar ring. The Sandhurst Way: The Life-Saving Magic of Tidying Up. Sounds good to me. I’m a paid-up member of the Marie Kondo fan club and there’s nothing I like more than talking to my socks. The inside of my sock drawer is immaculate. It’s the rest of my life that’s messy. All the same, Maj-Gen Nanson suggests starting with the practical and that means a well-made bed.

It’s not the first time a military man has suggested that a tidy bed is the foundation for a successful sort of day. In 2014, US admiral William H McRaven brought up the subject when he addressed the graduating class of the University of Texas, in a speech which became the basis for his book, Make Your Bed: Small things that can change your life... and maybe the world. In low-key Sandhurst style, the major-general makes no world-changing promises but he provides instructions, with pictures (thank goodness) for putting on a bottom sheet in the Sandhurst Way. Not an elasticated fitted sheet but a proper flat sheet.

Fitted sheets are meant to be a great time-saving invention but, let’s be honest, in reality, they are one of the reasons why changing the bed can seem such a chore. Either you get one which is supposedly the right size for the mattress, in which case, every time you get one corner fitted, it will ping off the opposite one. Or you get a fitted sheet that is slightly too big, which saves you wishing you were an octopus but never quite looks right because of the excess fabric. So it’s a flat sheet for your Sandhurst bed, old-school style.

Using a flat sheet brings back memories. As an 11-year-old, I sat an exam with a view to attending a local state girl’s grammar school. I passed. But before I could don the navy-blue uniform my aunt and cousin had worn before me, I had to attend an interview with the headmistress, Miss Miles. Practising for the moment in my head, I came up with lots of fascinating (to me) facts about my interest in reading and creative writing so I was more than a little affronted when the only question Miss Miles directed to me and not my mother was, “Do you know how to make a bed?”

Of course I knew how to make a bed! It seemed an irrelevance. It also, even to my 11-year-old mind, seemed sexist. Were the boys at the local boys’ grammar being asked the same? I thought not. I think that was the moment when, subconsciously, I decided that I would never make my bed as if I meant it. Even at the height of my Marie Kondo crush, I always made the bed grudgingly and it looked like it.

This time, I make the bed properly. I use a flat sheet and don’t just the fling the duvet back over the mattress, but straighten up the pillows and smooth the duvet across somewhat more carefully than usual. The result is a bed that looks altogether more cared for. And it has taken just a couple more minutes than it takes me to leave the bed looking as though someone’s still in it, as I usually do.

If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed – not with an elasticated fitted sheet but with a proper flat sheet

The effect is remarkable. Somehow, though I’ve changed nothing else, the whole room looks tidier. On a roll, I tweak the cushions on the sofa so that they too are perfectly aligned. I then spend a couple of minutes going through the enormous pile of letters and junk mail on my desk. I feel in control. With a tidy eyeline, I feel less distracted too as I sit down to work. There’s science to suggest I’m not imagining things. In 2011, Stephanie McMains and Sabine Kastner published research in the Journal of Neuroscience, showing that it may be more difficult for us to focus in a cluttered environment and that such visual clutter can negatively affect the speed with which we process situations. Forget the myth of the “creative” mess.

The major-general explains the power of making the bed for his Sandhurst trainees thus: “By starting the day with a small but positive action, they are also unknowingly setting themselves up for further success later that day, because positives breed positives. At least I’ve got one thing out of the way and done it properly, they tell themselves.”

He goes on to explain that the way a Sandhurst trainee is taught to look after their kit spills over into the rest of life. A Sandhurst alumnus recently told him that he “still applied the same respect and rigour that he learned to have for his kit to everything he does, whether that be maintaining his bike to writing an email”. Or cleaning shoes.

Lately, like a lot of people, I’ve been thinking about making my life more sustainable. One way in which to do that is to buy less, of course. Another way is to take better care of what we have. Like polishing shoes to make them more resistant to the filthy British weather. And at the same time making them look better so that you realise you don’t need to buy a new pair every year. Of course a book about Sandhurst explains the correct way to polish your boots.

Take the laces out. Use an “on” brush and an “off” brush. Apply the polish with circular motions using your “on” brush. Get that polish everywhere (though not on the carpet, like I did). Leave the polish to soak in for 10 to 15 minutes. Finally, using the off brush in back and forth motions, remove the polish and bring the boots to a “brilliant shine”. If you’re going to procrastinate, procrastinate in a useful way…

One change I’m going to stick with since reading Stand Up Straight is using flat sheets for the bottom of the bed instead of the fitted kind. Fitted sheets begone (into the cleaning rag cupboard or the Traid textile bin, of course). Once you know how to put it on properly, a flat sheet is actually much less faff. And then did you ever get a sense of achievement from putting a fitted sheet on.

These military men are on to something. Something as simple as making the bed really can change the mood of the day. Starting right increases your chances of tackling the to-do list with a sense of calm if not ease. Perhaps Miss Miles was right to ask me if I knew how to make the bed after all.