Our NHS is in need of urgent healing

It’s heartbreaking to admit that the safety I felt in NHS hands as a child after I fell down the stairs, or as a student when I was in outpatient eating disorder recovery, has disappeared, writes Harriet Williamson

As I lay on different tables covered in that hospital tissue paper that tears and wrinkles as soon as you touch it, two things occurred to me (PA)

Last week, I attended two medical appointments in the space of three days. That’s a lot for me, as my usual practice is to ignore physical problems in the hope that they will just go away on their own. (I do not recommend this as a strategy for good health, please do not do it.)

The medical powers that be suspect I have endometriosis, a long-term condition that affects one in 10 women globally and takes an average of seven and a half years to diagnose in the UK. As Niara Mae writes of her own experiences with the condition for Voices, endometriosis can be accompanied by “a whole list of symptoms besides severe pain”.

As I lay on different tables covered in that hospital tissue paper that tears and wrinkles as soon as you touch it, two things occurred to me. The first was that if I had to pay for these appointments, I would not have even countenanced attending. I would’ve put up and shut up, popping increasingly strong painkillers and hoping for the best while the symptoms continued to dictate my life.

The other was that if the NHS wasn’t under such extreme pressure, perhaps I would have been treated with more empathy as a trauma survivor undergoing invasive and potentially distressing procedures. Perhaps the staff involved would have spent a minute asking if I was OK to go through with them, explaining what was involved, allowing me space to breathe or a supportive person in the room, so I didn’t have a panic attack or break down.

Because I know that appointments are scarce, staff are struggling to cope with punishing workloads and I should count myself lucky that I’m getting my issue investigated at all, I swallowed down the bitter pill of the experience while telling myself that I would never seek help again unless a limb had fully come off.

It feels heartbreaking to admit that the safety I felt in the hands of the NHS as a child after I fell down the stairs, or as a student when I was in outpatient eating disorder recovery, has disappeared. This is just one personal anecdote, among thousands of others, but it is mine to share.

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Over the coming week, The Independent will be running a solutions-focused series that explores what is really needed for the road to recovery in the NHS. If we are serious about preserving our health service, established by Clement Attlee’s post-war Labour government with the core principle of being free at the point of access, the healing process needs to start now.

Yours,

Harriet Williamson

Voices commissioning editor