All I want for Christmas is… a new CD player

As he gets stuck into the mistletoe and wine, Will Gore wonders if his music choices are becoming obsolete

Can you even buy CD players these days? Or is it like trying to find a Betamax machine in the Nineties? (Getty/iStock)

Iiitttttt’s Chriiiiiiiissssstmaaaaassss!!! And I hope you’re simply having a wonderful Christmas time, rocking around the tree with little Saint Nick and jingling bells with Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.

Along with pigs in blankets, cruddy cracker jokes and an afternoon nap, music is a critical part of a decent Christmas Day. In our house, the musical accompaniment will begin with a bit of BBC Radio 3: a necessary, calming tonic at silly o’clock when the kids wake us up to declare that we absolutely must be conscious as they open their stockings.

At breakfast time, we’ll flick the dial to Radio 2, hoping for some proper classics rather than some of the more supine modern efforts. That’s not to say there aren’t some notable exceptions – The Darkness and Kelly Clarkson brought suitable oomph to their 21st-century festive songs, and George Michael’s “December Song” is his best Christmas track, which is saying something. Generally speaking, however, the last 25 years don’t come close to matching the previous quarter-century when it comes to quality Christmas tunes.

We’ll leave Wizzard and Greg Lake behind briefly, as we head to church for some traditional carolling. “O Come All Ye Faithful” ought to be the crowd-pleasing service closer, with a bit of “Hark the Herald” in there for good measure. As carols go, I’m a big fan of “O Holy Night” too, but that’s partly because it makes me think of Eric Cartman’s version from South Park. I can take or leave “Away in a Manger”.

Back at home, we’ll then turn our attention to our carefully curated stack of Christmas CDs, most of which have done sterling service over many years. We’ll start with the greatest of all pieces of seasonal music, Victor Hely-Hutchinson’s 1927 Carol Symphony, a 25-minute encapsulation of Christmas magic, known to people of a certain age for its use as the theme to an early Eighties BBC TV adaptation of John Masefield’s The Box of Delights. As a child, I wasn’t allowed to listen to it until Christmas Eve, because it used to send me hyper.

My own children aren’t fond of it, so we’ll soon revert to some Christmas pop, and I will, as usual, try to convince everyone that Chris de Burgh’s “A Spaceman Came Travelling” may be the best of all popular festive singles. It appears on The Best Christmas Album in the World… Ever!, a compilation that belies its name by also including an execrable version of “Fairytale of New York” by Ronan Keating.

While neither of us buys compact discs regularly any more, there is a significant stash of them in a living room cupboard, and I probably listen to one or two a week

Once we’ve got some Cliff and some Jona Lewie under our belts, it’ll be a toss-up between The Nutcracker and Christmas with Nat and Dean, both beloved by my wife. The latter is especially good after lunch, when heavy heads can begin to nod, but it sometimes needs a clean before our elderly stereo system will deign to play it.

Indeed, the CD player seems to have become ever more temperamental in the last few months, and so we’ve been approaching Christmas with a degree of trepidation. It’s ridiculous of course, because we could find any of our musical favourites online should we want to. And yet, in what may be a display of perversity that is the preserve of those over the age of 40, my wife and I found ourselves discussing last week whether next Christmas we should give ourselves a joint gift of a new CD player.

While neither of us buys compact discs regularly any more, there is a significant stash of them in a living room cupboard, and I probably listen to one or two a week – and of course more frequently at this time of year. I’m not about to bin them, so upgrading to a music system that doesn’t refuse to play one disc in every five makes sound sense. But can you even buy CD players these days? Or is it like trying to find a Betamax machine in the Nineties?

No doubt a time will eventually come when the CD format becomes truly obsolete. But at least my Christmastide music of choice never will. And, on that note, may I wish you a merry Christmas, and a happy new year. Whatever you do, don’t let the bells end.