Bad romance: Thousands stolen as love scams double

Pandemic saw £6,100 lost by a typical victim as experts ramp up warnings ahead of Valentine’s Day, writes Kate Hughes

Fraudsters are pretending to be in relationships to get their hands on cash (Metropolitan Police)

Romance fraud cases almost doubled during the pandemic with “relationships” prompting victims to make payments worth more than £6,000 for months on end, as psychologists warn of “hero in need of help” stories to part both men and women from their cash.

Research has revealed alarming details of such fraud cases, which rose by 91 per cent during the pandemic as financial predators tapped into cravings for human connection, with the average “relationship” lasting 62 days, with an average loss of £6,100.

The longest scam continued for almost three years, research by TSB Bank revealed. And while the typical victim is aged 47, some cases have been reported by those as old as 77 and as young as 18.

“Fraudsters concoct stories to elicit feelings of sympathy, pride, and trust; emotions that will lead the victim to feel this person they’ve never met is being faithful, honourable, a hero even, and in need of help,” says Sam Owen, a psychologist and relationship coach.

“Therefore, the victims of such fraud are often compassionate and altruistic people – likely to give to charity and willing to help people, but in this case, they are helping the wrong people by accident.”

Fraudsters often pose as naval officers, overseas doctors, soldiers or people working on oil rigs to both appear within a respected, recognised role – and to account for their absence. Their approach is often underpinned by an emotive story, and longing to get back home, with funds from their victim helping them edge closer to being together.

One target, convinced she was engaged in romantic conversations with a soldier stuck in Libya, was told he needed money to get home for Christmas. “Overall, the customer sent six payments amounting to £1,200 and realised she had been scammed just four days before Christmas,” TSB’s case notes reveal.

“Another case lasted almost two years after a female customer was approached on Instagram and carried on conversing via Whatsapp,” the bank reports.

“All the while, the fraudster shared increasingly emotive stories to support his need for cash, including police bail, hotel fees and flights. Overall, the female victim made 36 payments ranging from £2 to £7,000, amounting to £40,000, which was refunded in full.”

In fact, separate data collected by UK Finance, the trade association for the banking industry, points to an average of eight transactions per successful scam.

Romance fraud usually starts with fake profiles on social media and dating apps, and although female victims are more common, making up two-thirds of TSB’s cases and suffering losses of £6,300 on average, males, accounting for a further third, lost £4,600 each.

Victims often take out loans or withdraw cash from pensions to make the payments.

However, even though they have often been the target of highly sophisticated psychological campaigns of manipulation and exploitation by members of organised criminal gangs, embarrassment and shame mean romance fraud cases are likely to be significantly underreported.

Signs that friends or family members could be involved in a romance scam include secrecy about relationships or excuses about why an online partner can’t meet or video call and questioning can lead to hostility, anger and very strong emotions and commitment to someone they have only just met, Action Fraud warns.

The national fraud and cybercrime reporting centre urges people to be suspicious over any requests for money from someone they have never met in person, regardless of how long the communication has been going on or how much trust there appears to be.

Above all, never send them money, allow them access to bank accounts, transfer money on their behalf, take a loan out for them, provide copies of personal documents like passports, invest your own money on their behalf or on their advice, agree to send or receive parcels for them, or even buy and send codes on gift cards from Amazon or iTunes.

Meanwhile, a reverse image search on a search engine can help determine whether profile photos are genuine or have been taken from elsewhere.

“Victims find it difficult to confide in family and friends and might not try to get money back from their bank,” adds Owen.

“Refunds from banks are so crucial – they help remove the stigma by highlighting that this can happen to anyone from any online connection with a stranger, thus allowing victims to feel able to speak out and importantly, helping them to get their financial lives back on track again.”

But UK Finance data suggests that only a third of victims ever get their money back, and Which? recently estimated that the money handed over is only part of the financial impact.

The consumer group believes the impact on wellbeing costs the victims of all kinds of scams a further £9.3bn, following analysis of 17,000 responses to the Office for National Statistics Crime Survey for England and Wales.

The study found that being a scam victim is associated with lower life satisfaction, comparable with being threatened or targeted by thieves. Significantly higher levels of anxiety, lower levels of happiness and worse general health are also associated with being a victim of fraud.

The research found the estimated average drop in wellbeing for victims of fraud is the equivalent of £2,509 per year. But for online scams, such as romance fraud, the estimate rises to £3,684.

If you think you have been a victim of a romance scam, contact your bank immediately and report it to Action Fraud. If you are in Scotland, please report to Police Scotland directly by calling 101.