Anna Richardson on the 5 dating mistakes we need to stop making
The Naked Attraction presenter wants us all to take a bit more care with our romantic messages.
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Your support makes all the difference.It might have been one of the duller parts of school, but now – according to Anna Richardson – spelling correctly is sexy.
Richardson knows her stuff when it comes to love and relationships, having presented shows like Naked Attraction and The Sex Education Show. “For me, the way we communicate and text – proper grammar and spelling is really important,” she says. “I do a lot of shows around dating and relationships, I’m a trained hypnotherapist as well – so communication in relationships is everything for me.”
And the 52-year-old suggests proper communication is a dying art. “I see the younger people around me – and in fact, even my age group dating at the minute – and the way they’re communicating, it’s like: Oh my God,” she groans. “It’s a miracle anybody gets together.”
According to new research by dating app Badoo (badoo.com), 69% of single Brits are turned off by badly-written messages (a stat Richardson initially didn’t believe: “I was like, 69% – really? Is this a joke?”) – but it’s common in online dating, with 49% of daters having received a message with bad spelling or grammar.
“It’s a huge turnoff,” says Richardson. “You want to feel you are important, that you are worth the time and the effort to communicate properly with – you want to feel that you’re valued. I would want that. I think most people would want that.”
If you’re searching for love online, Richardson recommends avoiding these common dating mistakes…
1. Lazy messaging
While Richardson admits she’s a pedant, she still stresses the importance of taking care with your messages. “Without the correct syntax and punctuation, sentences just don’t make sense,” she says.
“If you’re not putting in the correct grammar, that can be misconstrued – and actually, the worst thing is, it could even be offensive. So it’s really important to take care.”
Lazy spelling and poor grammar are “totally unacceptable”, she adds. “Especially if you’re looking to spend quality time with somebody. It’s lazy, it makes you look sloppy, it makes you look as though you just don’t care. And nobody wants to be bottom of the priority list with a new date.”
2. Misspelling names
Getting a potential partner’s name right is a sign of respect, according to Richardson. “I get it quite often – people either put one ‘N’ in Anna, or they’ll call me Anne, or they’ll call me Hannah – I’m like, oh.”
She calls misspelling names “a massive no-no – especially if you’re wanting to be important to somebody and you want [them] to feel valued, then of course – get their name right”.
3. Rushing messages
“Rushing texts – we all do it in a work situation every day, especially with WhatsApp, texts, phone calls, emails, everything – we’re being pulled in a million different directions. It’s understandable at work to rush things… Not if you’re about to date, and not if you want to find your life partner.”
4. Using emojis instead of words
Richardson acknowledges she’s guilty of using emojis instead of words to speed up her messaging, but adds: “Actually, there’s no excuse. Yes, it can be funny in a comedy sense – but really, it’s a little bit lazy.”
5. Not giving people a chance
Richardson accepts her initial reaction to someone sending her a message littered with spelling and grammar mistakes is to “bin them off immediately”, she says. However, she adds: “We could all do with more kindness in the world.”
While mistakes can be a turnoff, it doesn’t mean that person isn’t right for you. “Maybe say to people – if they do revert to using emojis, or they’ve misspelled stuff, or they’re just not using grammar – say to them kindly and tactfully, actually, this is a value of mine. I find it a real turnon, and I’m quite into the correct spelling. It’s important to me, because it means you’ve spent time on me.”
Richardson recommends this positive approach, saying you’ll get “better feedback with sugar rather than vinegar”. After you’ve spoken to your potential match, she says: “If they do make the effort, then maybe they’re the person for you.”
Anna Richardson has teamed up with dating app Badoo to guide singletons on the most common messaging mishaps, encouraging them to put in more time and effort to land more dates.