You ask the questions: Harry Hill

(Such as: Harry Hill, would you pose naked if the part demanded it? And could you fit me in for a check-up?)

Wednesday 03 November 1999 00:02 GMT
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HARRY HILL, 36, born Matthew Hall, is one of Britain's most successful contemporary comedians. He qualified as a doctor before turning to comedy, winning the Perrier Award for Best Newcomer at the Edinburgh Festival in 1992. Much of his career has been shared with his puppets, Stouffer The Cat and Gareth Southgate Badger. His first book, The Harry Hill Fun Book (Channel 4 Books, pounds 9.99) has just been published. A third series of The Harry Hill Show will be broadcast in February. He lives in south London with wife, Magda, and two children.

Why do small animals feature so prominently in your sketches?

Lindsay Paul, Braintree

Because they are easy to control and many work for non-Equity rates.

Morrissey. Stars in their Eyes. Why?

Jenny Ireland, by e-mail

To pay tribute to the great man and I've always wanted to meet Natalie from Coronation Street.

PS. Matthew Kelly is, I can reveal, a real gent. PPS. I was robbed.

What role do you think men will play in the 21st century?

Dr Jason Jennings, by e-mail

Mainly collecting the rents for their masters, the women.

What was your first stand-up comedy experience like?

Dave Singer, Oxford

It was anxiety inducing, but went off OK. I forgot my act after the first laugh, which came as a complete surprise, but fortunately I had it written on my hand.

What made you quit the medical profession?

Gavin Tyler, by e-mail

I left because it wasn't really me. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but in my experience so does an air rifle and an open bedroom window.

What's the most annoying question you've ever been asked?

Janet Noble, by e-mail

Why did you give up being a doctor after all that training?

Would you pose naked, if the part demanded it?

Cherry Turner, by e-mail

Or not, as the case may be.

Who, or what, makes you laugh?

Andy Wentworth, West Sussex

You've Been Framed, Alright on the Night, Monty Python, Vic & Bob, Ronnie Corbett, Morecambe & Wise, Bruce Forsyth, Sean Lock, Bill Bailey, Stewart Lee, Al Murray, Laurel and Hardy.

As a zany post-modernist icon and former medical practitioner, what do you think of inflatable casts versus plaster for those broken limbs?

Roger Hewell, Caverton, Bath

This is a new development since I got laid off. Inflatable huh? Sounds cheap and re-usable but can you get your friends to sign them?

What's the best way of dealing with hecklers?

Keith Muller, Portsmouth

I normally like to get off, as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

What's your most memorable piece of fan mail?

Richard Price, Penzance

"Millennium Memos" from Bernie Holland - a detailed probe into why they put holes in the top of biscuits (such as bourbons, Rich Tea).

Nice suits. Where do you shop?

Nick Jarvis, by e-mail

Asda - it's all "George".

Why did you change your name? Wasn't Matthew Hall showbiz enough?

Nat Collins, London

For tax reasons. Also, Matthew Hall is not my name. It is the name of a construction firm.

What's the best bit of advice you've had?

Sophie Caverton, Milton Keynes

If it's going badly - get off. If it's going well - get off. From Ivor Dembina on my first gig.

Have you got any controversial opinions that you'd like to express at this point?

Thomas Alexander, Notts

Is it me or do advances in wet shaving rely pretty much on just adding another blonde?

What's your most embarrassing moment on stage?

Matt Collins, by e-mail

Trousers falling down, and falling into a pie. And I once got a blind man up out of the audience.

What do you do off stage?

Angela Jones, Swansea

Worry.

When you perform to an American audience, do you have to do or say anything different to make them laugh? And do they laugh more than we do? They always seem to on sitcoms.

Liz Hanson, by e-mail

Yes. They've never heard of a badger or a Kit Kat over there, so that's half my act gone. They laugh more when they do laugh, but they don't always laugh.

Have you ever thought about running for Mayor of London?

Hillary Browning, by e-mail

I am, my idea is to slab it over and turn it into a runway.

Could you fit me in for a quick check-up?

Sara Clarke, by e-mail

Yes. But I may not detect a life- threatening illness.

Whose side are you on - John Major or Norman Lamont's?

Edward H Daniels, Newport, Isle of Wight

Lamont's, because he looks most like a badger.

What do you really look like?

Patsy English, Wembley, north London

Like this.

What would you say is your greatest extravagance?

Sally Hayward, London W8

Gold teeth.

Do you still eat a lot of mashed potato?

Andrew Mullins, Hackney

No, I have just discovered chips.

Which football team does Stouffer support?

Paul Smith, Chessington, Surrey

He has no apparent interest in sport. He likes the idea of chasing a ball but prefers the wool variety.

Dissimilarities between being a doctor and being a comedian?

Nicholas E Gough, Swindon

One laughs at your piles and the other has piles of laughs (not very good joke, I admit).

What's the most romantic thing you've ever done?

Petra Selby, Dublin

Buying a rose at some traffic lights.

Are you naturally bald?

Robin Clegg, by e-mail

No. I am unnaturally bald but it comes naturally.

Questions, Please

CHANTEUSE AND MOTHER OF ALL ROCK CHICKS, MARIANNE FAITHFULL, FOLLOWED BY BBC2'S `FOOD AND DRINK' PRESENTER JILLY GOOLDEN

Send your questions to: You Ask the Questions, Features, The Independent, One Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL (fax: 0171-293 2182; e-mail: yourquestions@independent.co.uk) by noon on Friday. The best question wins the sender a bottle of champagne.

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