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Despite my long acquaintance with the Partridge phenomenon, I find myself utterly unprepared for Alan’s practical demonstration of cardiopulmonary resuscitation.
As Alan explains during his short filmed insert on CPR during This Time with Alan Partridge (BBC1); although the British Heart Foundation use a basic head-and-torso model for their training, Alan prefers a full-sized 35kg realistic human replica with workable joints for his monthly practice.
Lugging the petite, fully dressed female model from the loft of his spacious home, it slowly dawns on us, if not Alan, that this “replica” he purchased from his friend – the late Pate Gabbatiss – some years ago is in fact a sex doll, complete with full lips and generously proportioned mouthparts to which Alan eagerly “docks” in the initial stages of saving its life after a putative overdose.
In this scenario, Alan is rescuing his sister-in-law Eileen, who has OD’d because she hates his brother so very much. “Come on Eileen” is the heartfelt plea as he checks for pulse and breath. As a musical accompaniment to the saving of a silicone love doll’s life, Alan rejects the usual beat of “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees (“namby pamby”) in favour of Queen’s “Another One Bites The Dust”, a “pounding rock number that injects a welcome dose of realism”.
I am racking my mind to think of a funnier bit of Partridge/Steve Coogan over his eventful 28-year long career but can’t. The chocolate-sex session/dirty protest in the Linton Travel Tavern; the full stilton slammed into the face of BBC head of commissioning Tony Hayers; the “king and car” sequence on Mid-Morning Matters ; hiding in the septic tank of the chemical toilet on the Radio Norfolk roadshow bus; conversations with Michael at the BP garage: all brilliant, but none more genius than this.
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far)Show all 47 1 /47The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Click through to read the gallery >>>
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Doctor Who - New Year's Day special (BBC1) “As a slightly cheesy reminder of what we love about Doctor Who – i.e. the fact it gives us an intergalactic eccentric in a big flappy overcoat shouting at Daleks – this is a New Year treat that more than delivers”
BBC
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Billy Connolly: Made in Scotland (BBC2) “Billy Connolly: Made in Scotland is a meandering look back over his life, career, and national identity – a “Proustian wander through Scotland”. There’s a lot of mordant chat about the weather, illustrated with shots of dark grey clouds above even darker grey lochs.”
BBC/7Wonder/Jaimie Gramston
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) The Paras: Men of War (ITV) “From the outset the production is elevated by its sensitive handling of the men – and the Paratroopers remain exclusively male – involved. These kinds of programmes have a tendency to fetishise toughness, lingering on assault courses and weaponry.”
Jonny Ashton/ITV
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Brexit: The Uncivil War (Sky Atlantic) “Despite what some feared, the casting of Cumberbatch doesn’t simply flatter Cummings – the A-lister is too good a chameleon for that. But, inevitably, as he scrawls out his campaigning brainwaves on a whiteboard, there is a touch of that deductive maverick Sherlock in his portrayal of this scruffy, balding political saboteur.”
Nick Wall
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) A Year of British Murder (Channel 4) “The programme-makers must have done much to win the confidence of so many friends and families, as they went through unspeakable personal pain; but they repay that confidence with an understated and powerful film.”
Channel 4
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) The Secret Life of the Zoo (Channel 4) “This documentary goes behind the shrubbery to show off these animals and their guardians. The humans are a pretty exotic bunch too, judging by some of the lines they come out with.”
Channel 4
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Danny Dyer’s Right Royal Family (BBC) “You see, saint or sinner, prince or pauper, we are all part of one race, the brotherhood of man. And the saintly and regal Danny Dyer stands as its finest ambassador.”
BBC
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Les Misérables (BBC1) “West believes Valjean to be “the greatest hero in all literature”, and he plays the part with all the care and intricacy such a character deserves.”
BBC/Lookout Point/Laurence Cendrowicz
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Inside Europe: Ten Years of Turmoil (BBC2) “For anyone who’s not altogether sure how British politics turned so suddenly into a rolling dumpster fire from which all exits are blocked then Inside Europe: Ten Years of Turmoil is a necessary public service to explain exactly, and exactly how needlessly, we all came to be here.”
BBC/European Council Newsroom
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Catastrophe (Channel 4) “There’s really been nothing quite like Catastrophe on our screens before, and it deserves its cult status for the quality of everything the production team do, not least the stunning cinematography in this finale. Thanks, all. I’m glad Catastrophe died happy."
Channel 4
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Baptiste (BBC1) “Yet again the Williams have woven a brilliantly tangled web, helped in no small part by Karyo’s quietly arresting central turn”
PA
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) The Umbrella Academy (Netflix) “It is both a revisionist – and frequently batty – take on the caped milieu and a winningly knotty mystery. And it surely is the first big-budget superhero tale more indebted to Wes Anderson than to Stan Lee.”
Netflix
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Shetland (BBC1) “Like all the best detective dramas, Shetland engages the audience in the very process of detection. That way we grow intrigued, and we care. And so we find ourselves sitting next to Henshall in his (prominently featured) Volvo V70 estate, sharing his thoughts, intercepting suspects and being driven off the road by unidentified enemies.”
BBC/ITV Studios
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) This Time with Alan Partridge* (BBC1) "This Time with Alan Partridge is such a consistently strong creative achievement that fears for the future of Alan Gordon Partridge, may, once again, be allayed. Or Alayned, perhaps.”
BBC
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Leaving Neverland (Channel 4) "Michael Jackson has long looked like a burning tire yard. There were the allegations, the out-of-court settlements, the arrest, the trial and not-guilty verdict. But there has been nothing like Leaving Neverland”
AFP/Getty
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Home (Channel 4) "Home is a rather gentle, unobtrusive variation on the sitcom theme – but one that is built on a quite a bizarre premise. The twist is that a family who returns to Surrey from a holiday touring around France discover a Syrian refugee stuffed in the back of their SUV. Not only that, but, after a few moments of blind terrified panic about a suicide bombing, they eventually adopt him like he’s stray cat that’s just wandered in."
Channel 4
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) The Murder of Jill Dando (BBC) "A tremendously sad, strange story then, and just as unfathomable today. Dando’s friends, family and the producer and director of the film have made a fitting and balanced tribute to her, something she deserves. I can’t really add anything to that."
PA
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Derry Girls (Channel 4) "It is sometimes remarked that the Troubles in Northern Ireland make for an unpromising backdrop for a sitcom about adolescent kids. Well, yer man’s wrong, as they might say. Derry Girls, returning for a triumphant and exuberant second run, proves that humour, dark or otherwise, can be quarried from even the most unlikely of locations."
Peter Marley
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Fleabag (BBC) "While there are plenty of well-turned one-liners, the deeper attraction of Fleabag is schadenfreude. The character is as old as Daisy Buchanan or Lydia Bennett or Scarlett O’Hara. The best compliment to Waller-Bridge and her cast is that they find fresh clothes in which to dress these ancient monsters."
BBC/Two Brothers/Luke Varley
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Road to Brexit (BBC) "The Road to Brexit is easily the best thing to emerge from the whole brexit imbroglio. OK, not much competition, but still... Despite the po-faced title, you realise very quickly that it’s not yet another drama starring Benedict Cumberbatch or yet another attempt by Laura Kuenssberg to explain the inexplicable, or yet another show with the public arguing about stuff they don’t understand. Rather, it’s a very clever, very funny, very 'different' parcel of bollocks to Brexit."
BBC
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Our Planet (Netflix) "The footage is glorious, especially the side-on tracking shots of the birds and the hunting, where it is as if the cameramen were able to set up a rail along the ocean. Most spectacular of all is the sequence of a glacier collapsing into the ocean, where 75m tons of ice being sloughed off in less than 20-minutes. But at times Our Planet feels a little unfocused. Attenborough’s last big BBC series, Dynasties, won almost unbearable amount of emotional resonance through its focus on animal families. Our Planet is more of a greatest-hits parade, with overblown orchestral soundtrack and ponderous intonation. You can’t buy love, even if you pay for David Attenborough."
Netflix
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Line of Duty (BBC) "Plausibility is a spectrum; Bodyguard became ridiculous but Line of Duty stays just the right side, and as usual there is more plot in an hour than in whole series of other programmes. As well as being gripping entertainment, Line of Duty has become an effective examination of the relationship between the state and the individual. The shadowy government forces are elected; the organised crime gangs are fuelled by the drug trade. The police are there to save us from ourselves but can only do it if they are subjected to constant scrutiny. It’s exhausting work, policing the police."
BBC
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) The Virtues "Joseph is almost never out of shot, whether seen from afar, contemplating a bottle of strong cider in a playground, or in visceral close-up, clutching his doner to his face. There are few actors you could trust with so much screen time, especially with such a pared back and naturalistic script. The fact any of it is remotely watchable is testament to Stephen Graham’s abilities. No man working in Britain today can drink a pint with more pathos."
Dean Rogers/Channel 4
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Good Omens 'Good Omens is a hugely enjoyable, imaginative premiere, as close to Pratchett’s vision as anyone could have dared dream. And while the melancholy tone may not be for everyone, fans of the book will surely be sated.'
Amazon Prime
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Years and Years "Years and Years, then, is favoured by some wit, a cornucopia of fab talent and promising characters. The dominant one as we continue our quest into the 2030s and beyond, will be Vivienne, or Viv, Rook, played brilliantly by Emma Thompson. As a bit of a long-term Emma-sceptic I was actually startled by how good she is in the role of the epitome of everything she has spent her life hating and campaigning against, for Viv is a horrifically nasty businessperson turned populist politician with the most terrifying of views. Viv Rook makes Ann Widdecombe look like, well, Emma Thompson at an Extinction Rebellion sit-in."
BBC
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Killing Eve "As the series develops, it’s clearer than ever that Eve and Villanelle are more similar than they are different. Villanelle’s new vulnerability invites us to question what it is exactly she wants from Polastri. First time around she was toying with a more worthy adversary, but why now? Polastri, by contrast, is frayed around the edges, a terrible wife to her husband Nico (Owen McDonnell) and an even worse intelligence agent to her boss Carolyn Martens (Fiona Shaw). The script is still tight and the jokes are still there, as are Villanelle’s accents, outfits and abrupt killings, but without the will-they/won’t-they energy of the initial plot, it is harder to care."
BBC/BBC America
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Chernobyl "Timely, bleak, intelligent and compelling, Chernobyl is a triumph of a disaster."
HBO
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) The Handmaid's Tale "Season three's knuckle-whitening finale is far less disappointing than the last."
Hulu
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) This Way Up "The writing is sharp and well observed, probing the fault lines between small talk and real problems."
Channel 4
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Jade: The Reality Star Who Changed Britain "A touching tribute to a flawed reality TV star."
Channel 4
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Succession "Despite the strength of its ensemble cast, Succession is a feat of writing above all. Although it is ostensibly a business show, you won’t learn much about the minutiae of media deals by watching it. Its key dynamic, between father and children, means that it is limited in the amount that can actually happen without risking the magic. The writers, led by the creator Jesse Armstrong, who also gave us Peep Show, weave just-about-plausible and sympathetic characters from a web of insults and backstabbing, and tight editing and camerawork ratchets up tension from a slow-moving plot."
HBO
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Kathy Burke’s All Woman "In Kathy Burke’s All Women on Channel 4, the unapologetic, effing-and-blinding, salt-of-the-earth actor meets lots of different women – from nuns to reality stars – to understand what it means to be a member of the fairer sex, so to speak, in 2019."
Channel 4
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) The Capture "So here we have an intriguing, but rather flawed sort of Big Brother thriller set in our contemporary world of digital snooping, near constant surveillance and (a topical touch) widespread use of facial recognition technology."
BBC/Heyday Films/Nick Wall
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Top Boy "Top Boy can be bleak and violent, with dialogue so naturalistic that it verges on the impenetrable, but in telling stories that rarely get heard, it asks us to think differently about the city we live in."
Netflix
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Criminal "Criminal uses its small canvas to ask big questions. The focus on these intricate dances means that after a while we begin to question the idea of objective truth, as well as the facts at hand. I have no idea if it is a realistic depiction of detective work, but it makes for gripping drama."
Netflix
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Tories at War "After an hour of Tories at War (Channel 4), I felt I had to get out into the fresh air and go for a walk. The foul language; the visceral hatred; the unbearable tensions; the violence being inflicted on ancient institutions and this poor old knackered country by the Tories, as if with chainsaws and zombie knives – it was like watching my first Saw movie."
Pro Co
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) World on Fire "In a TV world where too often we are encouraged to see the Nazis as warm and cuddly real people with emotions, it’s refreshing that they are here relegated back to pure baddies, strafing cafes, shooting surrendering fathers and generally being Nazi-ish about things."
BBC/Mammoth Screen
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Catherine the Great "At last, an answer to the question, what could be more fabulous than Helen Mirren playing The Queen? Helen Mirren playing an empress, altogether madder, badder and more dangerous to shag. Better costumes, too."
Sky Atlantic
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Dublin Murders "Sarah Phelps’s adaptation of crime writer Tana French’s novels finds two detectives trying to solve the murder of a young girl, with plenty of twists and turns."
BBC
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Modern Love "Romance is complicated, cathartic and messy, regardless of age or circumstance. But such uncomfortable realities are swept beneath the rug in John Carney’s rigorously whimsical new Amazon series. Modern Love is adapted from a New York Times column (it also spawned a hit podcast) and is as much a valentine to a fantasia vision of Manhattan as it is a dissection of the human heart."
Amazon Studios
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Watchmen "Damon Lindelof’s version of the beloved graphic novel is a compelling demonstration of what can happen when source material is treated with sensitivity and imagination."
HBO
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Warrior Women "Arriving in the wake of Marvel’s Black Panther, the film highlights the links between the saga of the real-life Agoji women, who fought in the former Kingdom of Dahomey (located in modern-day Benin), and the all-women comic-book world protectors known as Dora Milaje."
Channel 4
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) The Accident "The writer Jack Thorne says his latest four-part drama, which explores the aftermath of a disaster on a small community, was shaped by the Grenfell Tower fire. Rather than overcrowded west London, his takes place in Glyngolau, a fictional run-down town in Wales. A new building project, The Light, is being built on the outskirts. It’s unclear what The Light is, exactly, which is deliberate. The point is not what it is, exactly, but what it represents: 1,000 new jobs and a rare moment of economic optimism for families who have forgotten what hope feels like."
Channel 4/ Warren Orchard
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Seven Worlds, One Planet "Watching Seven Worlds, One Planet, it’s hard to know what to worry about most: the future of wildlife – catastrophically imperilled by our fondness for fossil fuels, long-haul travel and convenience food – or Attenborough himself, now 93 and one of the few people that the world will listen to about the impending apocalypse. Like the species on whose behalf he speaks, his continued existence is vital for us all."
BBC/PA
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) Dickinson "Hailee Steinfeld is perfectly cast. She has a face – and a set of elastic expressions – that feels both well-suited to a period piece (as first displayed in her Oscar-nominated role in True Grit in 2010), and resolutely out of place in it. Just as Emily Dickinson was. Steinfeld crackles with charm and impropriety."
Apple/Virginia McMillian
The best TV shows of 2019 (so far) His Dark Materials This is a beautiful, brooding vision of Pullman’s universe, which retains the mix of childish wonder and darkness that make his books so beguiling to young adults.
BBC/Bad Wolf/HBO
Quite unnecessarily, at the conclusion of Alan’s first-aid class he advises This Time viewers: “Don’t forget to clean the mouth.” Rinsing Eileen’s cavity may be relatively straightforward, but not cleansing the memory of the image of Alan Partridge pummelling a rather primly-dressed sex doll. It is a wonder that, with its poor head bouncing as it does on hard flooring, the doll retains a beatific smile throughout. Lovely stuff.
In that respect at least, Eileen the doll resembles Alan’s co-presenter Jennie Gresham (Susannah Fielding), who seems to have got the knack of dealing with Alan by a mixture of humouring his eccentricities and ignoring his unscripted outbursts about his former wife, Carol. Somehow the pair of them manage to navigate a series of standard fluffy news-magazine items that quickly degenerate into unbroadcastable outrages against taste and decency, “Eileen” serving as a symbol of the show’s awfulness.
They include the absurd entrapment of Monty Don (playing himself), who eventually settles for a product placement bribe of £1bn; a gentle interview with a centenarian about the secret of her long life which shortly morphs into some racist reflections on the end of British rule in India; a This Time campaign for a monument to police dog bravery that elicits a text from Neville in Swansea asking, “Why are people happy to throw money at a few dead police dogs but they can’t find any for child refugees?”; and a jokey end-piece with a Sligo farmer/ Alan look-alike (played nicely with comedy teeth and ruddy cheeks by Coogan) that ends with the man giving a hearty rendition of the pro-IRA anthems “Come Out Ye Black And Tans” and “Men Behind the Wire”.
Not for the first time, then, Alan Partridge has made television history. As Partridge-superfan Jed once said, “You’ve still got it Alan. I don’t care what they say.”
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