Kilimanjaro, The Bigger Red Nose Climb review: Charity trek with Little Mix and Dani Dyer could do with less Balls
Shirley Ballas is first to feel the strain, but there are plenty of tears and tantrums to follow
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Your support makes all the difference.We’re now at a stage where putting “former MP” in front of Ed Balls’ name seems redundant. Having busted out “Gangnam Style” on Strictly, donned an apron in Bake Off and squeezed into a leotard while presenting Travels in Trumpland, the former shadow chancellor is probably better known these days as “that man off the telly Ed Balls”.
Capitalising on his matey mass appeal, Comic Relief has enlisted the bumbling Balls for their celebrity hike up Mount Kilimanjaro – the same journey Cheryl Cole, Fearne Cotton and Gary Barlow embarked on 10 years ago.
Joining him are actor/comedian/presenter Alexander Armstrong, Strictly judge Shirley Ballas, BBC Breakfast’s Dan Walker, Love Island’s Dani (son of Danny) Dyer, and Little Mix’s Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Jade Thirlwall. Rounding off the Kilimanjaro Nine are NFL player-turned-sports presenter Osi Umenyiora and broadcaster Anita Rani, both of whom get inexplicitly less screen-time than everyone else.
Things start simply enough. There’s a quick montage of everyone preparing for the trip; a mandatory cameo from Labour MP Yvette Cooper (married to Balls); and a message from Ronan Keating, who took part a decade ago and here warns our adventurers about the hardships ahead. While the former Boyzoner embellishes the journey, the editors do their best to show the fellowship struggling.
The first to feel the strain is Ballas, who bursts into tears at base camp after admitting she’s never been into the woods before. We then cut to her speaking about her reasons for being on the trip – that her brother took his own life 16 years ago and Comic Relief raises money for Calm, a charity aimed at bringing down the rate of male suicide. It’s an important message.
Soon enough, the others fall. Thirlwall throws up. Walker breaks down and then, due to the altitude, forgets what happened. Dyer sobs, too, while still managing to reel off the kind of aphorisms that would make her dad proud (“I’ve never even climbed a climbing frame” and “My nipples are so hard it hurts”).
Balls, who ends up lagging behind, gets the most time on camera. During a cutaway segment, we see him venture to Uganda to meet people suffering from malaria. Considering Stacey Dooley was criticised for perpetuating the “white saviour” stereotype, was this a wise move? It seems unnecessary given that Umenyiora speaks about the important work Comic Relief is doing for those with malaria later on. Perhaps they should have given Umenyiora more airtime.
Either way, Comic Relief still does its best to get those important donations, and they will come in their droves. It could have just done with a few more Dyerisms and a little less Balls.
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