Stephen Fry praised for ‘poignant’ Christmas speech about mental health and loneliness

‘QI’ host told viewers ‘one doesn’t want to be unhappy, one doesn’t want to be lonely in a crowd or lonely on one’s own’

Stephen Fry has been praised for his “important” video message to people struggling with loneliness at Christmas.

The comedian and QI host is the president of mental health charity Mind, having joined in 2011 after speaking publicly about being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

In the week leading up to Christmas, Fry, 66, shared his own Christmas message for Mind, in which he detailed his own experiences with loneliness during the festive period. According to a 2021 study by the charity, the pressure to have “the perfect Christmas” leaves one in 10 people feeling unable to cope.

“Christmas again,” he said. “I do love Christmas, I do. I’m not a Scrooge or a grump or a Grinch. But there have been Christmasses… where sometimes I’ve been, not necessarily alone, goodness knows loneliness at Christmas can be a sad thing.

“But often I’m in the middle of a party, in the middle of a party game, around a table full of people, old and young, smiling and pulling crackers, and I’m doing the same. I’m smiling and I’m pulling crackers, but inside I’m sort of crying, and I never know why.”

He continued: “I do my very best to put a brave face on it and most people don’t notice. Some people say, ‘I can see your mouth smiling, but I know your eyes aren’t.’ People can be very perceptive and sometimes that’s annoying. It’s like being sort of pricked with a sharp pencil – you almost don’t want to be read and understood. But deep down, of course, one does.

“One doesn’t want to be unhappy, one doesn’t want to be lonely in a crowd or lonely on one’s own. One wants to feel something of the force of compassion and friendliness and welcome and warmth that Christmas and other winter feasts offer.”

Fry went on to praise Mind as “just about the best bloody charity I’ve ever encountered” and encouraged the viewers to visit the website and use its resources if they needed.

“If you are struggling, goodness knows that’s understandable… I hope there’ll be something or someone somewhere who will be able to help you and feel a bit better, so that the smile will be perhaps the eyes as well,” he said.

Fry signed off by wishing a “merry Christmas” and “happy Hanukkah” to the viewers, saying that he hoped any holidays being celebrated were “joyful”.

In the comment section, Mind’s supporters praised Fry for his “important message delivered so beautifully”.

“A message full of compassion about the Charity work that Mind does, and simply about loneliness at Christmas. Somebody might just have needed to hear that. Thank you,” one comment read.

Another fan wrote: “Such heartfelt, poignant words and such a helpful, useful post for those who are finding this period challenging.”

Fry has been the president of Mind since 2011 (Getty Images)

One Instagram user added: “I resonate with every last word. You can be in a room full of wonderful people, but feel utterly empty and lost.”

“This is such a good description of how it feels when you’re struggling to get through any time that’s meant to be ‘happy’ and for whatever reason your heart and soul are not,” another commenter wrote. “We are in a mental health crisis so for people to be aware of the charities out there to support them is invaluable.”

In October, Fry backed a campaign to encourage more junior doctors to specialise in psychiatry as he said that the profession had “saved his life at its lowest moment”.

“I know I can say with absolute truth that psychiatry saved my life at its lowest moment. I don’t believe I would be here today if it were not for the psychiatrist who rescued me,” he said.

The campaign comes amid a “mental health emergency” in England, according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists, which said almost 1.4 million people are awaiting treatment.

If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.

If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.