US election: Stephen Colbert says America is ‘begging for boring president’ as results trickle in

‘Like you, I’m exhausted,’ Colbert said, ‘not just from tonight, but from the past four years’

Stephen Colbert has joked that an “exhausted” America is “begging for a boring president” as the results of the US election trickle in.

The comedian and political commentator spent election night presenting an hour-long special titled Democracy’s Last Stand: Building Back America Great Again Better 2020, where he attempted to comfort viewers who were hoping for a quick result.

As of Wednesday morning, Donald Trump and Joe Biden remain in a tight battle for the US presidency. Several states are yet to declare their winners, while states including Philadelphia and Detroit are not expected to count piles of mail-in ballots until later into Wednesday, potentially delaying the announcement of an overall winner into midweek.

“We still don’t know who’s won,” Colbert said at the end of his special. “We’ve been waiting for this for so long. It’s like Christmas Eve, and not just because of the judgmental fat guy in the red hat, but because we’re all up late wondering if tomorrow morning we’re gonna get the present we’ve been begging for: a boring president.”

Colbert continued: “Like you, I’m exhausted. Not just from tonight, but from the past four years. I’ve been on high alert since early in the morning on November 9, 2016. Now, my blood pressure is within normal range… For four years Trump has kept our nation’s emotional metre hovering over in the red zone. And every time you think you can take your foot off the gas, a caravan of Trump trucks tries to run you off the road.”

In his closing message to viewers, Colbert went so far as to suggest that the lack of an early victor was a good thing, as it meant voter turnout was high.

“Millions of you braved the pandemic… just to make sure you got to vote,” Colbert said. “Each and every one of those ballots deserved to be counted, whether they are votes for President Trump, Joe Biden, or write-in votes for Boobs Boobs Boobs Post Malone Rules.”

Millions of Americans have voted in this year’s presidential election, with more than 100 million people casting their ballots early. The figure represented more than 70 per cent of all the votes cast in the 2016 presidential election.