Paul Merson and Chris McCausland are what Strictly is all about

They might not be at the top of the leaderboard, but I’d give these two entertainers the Glitterball Trophy any day, writes Ellie Harrison

Merson and McCausland stole the show (BBC)

Both of them failed to reach the top five on the leaderboard. One of them was told his fingers looked like bananas. And the other was called out for having zero technique. But Chris McCausland and Paul Merson were, without a doubt, the hilarious, heavy-footed heroes of Strictly week two.

Tensions were high as the glitziest competition on telly returned to BBC One for its second live episode of the season – with all 15 celebrities and their pro partners on edge ahead of the first public vote, and anxious not to go through the undignified experience of being eliminated straight off the bat. But former footballer Merson and comedian McCausland – the show’s first ever blind star – cut through any unease with their dad dancing, cracking one-liners and absolute commitment to the cause.

Merson’s return to the dancefloor was eagerly anticipated after his week one performance – an unhinged American Smooth to the football anthem “Vindaloo” by Fat Les, which was dubbed “very special and different” by the judges. And boy, did he deliver. Merson and his pro partner Karen Hauer did the Salsa to “Fireball” by Pitbull. Cue Merson in leopard print trousers, waving barbecue tongs in the air and doing a mad move where he sort of thrust-jumped his way over to Hauer, a baffled grin plastered on his face the entire time. Just stunning. The only problem? It was hard not to wince when Craig Revel Horwood joked that Merson’s drink prop at the start must have given him confidence, and Merson, who’s struggled with alcoholism, looked at the floor and said: “I don’t drink.”

But who brought the levity soon afterwards? Yes, it was McCausland backstage who, after Revel Horwood gave Merson a measly score of two, said: “By the sound of the way things are going, I think Craig’s blinder than I am.” Claudia Winkleman collapsed into laughter, and had to ask producers to give her a minute before she carried on presenting.

McCausland only brought more joy with his and Dianne Buswell’s Foxtrot to “Be Young, Be Foolish, Be Happy” by The Tams. The comedian, who lost his sight aged 22 due to a hereditary condition called retinitis pigmentosa, got a huge standing ovation from the teary-eyed crowd. “Everyone in this room is on their feet right now,” marvelled Tess Daly. “Oh my goodness. I think you’re a popular man.” “It’s a lot, innit,” came his understated response. Head judge Shirley Ballas gave a big shout-out to Buswell, saying her teaching is “off the wall, off the scale”. Not bad, given that when McCausland was doing press a couple of weeks ago, he said they were “winging it” and had no idea how his training was going to play out. The pair’s work together is staggering, and truly moving.

The laughs continued backstage, too, where the Liverpudlian said, “I’m not happy, because they’ve put me on 10 minutes before the Liverpool game ends. That is half of Liverpool watching the football. That is half of my core voter group!”

Buswell and McCausland were a highlight, and received a standing ovation (BBC/Guy Levy)

So yes, former Love Island star Tasha Ghouri might be at the top of the combined leaderboard with 65, while McCausland is in sixth place with 52 and Merson’s down in 14th with 32. But here’s hoping the fans’ votes will save their places in the competition. They might not be bringing the most dazzling frames or the pointiest toes, but they are what Strictly is all about: laughter and, well, learning.