The Old Fart's Festival guide: packing, Poundland, and half-price tickets
Fringe veteran Chris Bratt has some top tips for fellow 60-somethings: travel light, pack a waterproof, and avoid wool – there's nothing worse than gently steaming in a portacabin
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Your support makes all the difference.If you came by train to Waverley, be prepared to join the mile-long queue for a taxi up on Market Street – or wherever the authorities have deemed it best to put the rank this year. If you’ve flown in and are wondering which is the best way into town, look for the bus stops outside the main entrance and take the number 100 Express Bus to Waverley Bridge. (A return ticket is a bargainous £7.50.) It will will drop you at Waverley and then you’ll have to join the queue of East Coast, Virgin or TransPennine travellers for a cab. Lothian Buses also serve the airport/city centre.
And if you’ve driven up, good luck finding parking.
The best solution is to be very selective in your packing and have one case that you can pull easily around the cobbled streets and walk to your lodgings. As no one is going to criticise your fashion style, a basic survival wardrobe consists of one change of trousers, one sweater, a selection of non-iron shirts/blouses, and waterproof shoes and anorak.
Go for the lightweight layered look. Modesty prevents my venturing into which undergarments to recommend. As someone who hates the rain, (well, as someone who hates getting wet) I find a pair of light waterproof over-trousers essential, along with a folding umbrella. Trust me, there is nothing worse than getting to a venue sopping wet and sitting for an hour in a sweaty portacabin, gently steaming (so avoid wool!).
You should realise that not all shows are in theatre-type accommodation: lecture theatres, pubs, buses, caves, the ubiquitous portacabins, Spiegel tents, camper vans and even lifts, have all be called upon to act as Fringe venues. And should the month prove in the least bit like summer, some ladies might appreciate the cooling breezes of a collapsible fan.
Many of you fellow old farts will have booked into a hotel or, if you’re really trying to re-live your youth, a hostel, particularly if you are only staying a few days. The cheapest option, certainly for a longer stay, is a rented apartment. This can work out at less than £40.00 per night per room, although many have to be taken for the whole month.
If you’ve booked an apartment, you might assume that everything you’ll need for a comfortable life style will be found in the cupboards. You may be surprised! Most of the apartments available in August are ones vacated by students: a breed not noted for fine living. China may well be assorted, likewise cutlery. There may be no corkscrew, believe it or not, presumably because beer cans don’t require one, and similarly, there may be no wine glasses.
You are unlikely to find a teapot in the kitchen. These things may be found, however, at the well-stocked, and cheap, Pound shops in Nicholson Street. Or do as we do and take them with you, just in case, along with a small cafetière. Or –-assuming that all Old Farts travel up First Class – acquire drinking vessels on the train. However, if this method of obtaining the wherewithal seems slightly iffy, then, at the first show venue you go to, buy two Sauvignon Blancs and keep the glasses – they will be made of a pretty substantial plastic and should see you safely through your stay.
Our apartment for the month is in the Marchmont area, south of the Meadows, notable for fine tenement buildings beloved of students. And don’t be put off by the word “tenement” – it has none of the connotations of city slum dwelling. These are four- or five-storey blocks where the ceilings are 10 feet (in old money) above the floor, even at the top. One downside: even in a five-bedroom apartment, there may be only one bathroom, so you need to know any visiting friends fairly well. And beds tend to be doubles, so those of you used to King Sizers or wider, may be advised to have a bedroom each (or sleep top to toe – after all the Fringe is unconventional!) And, if your billet is on the top floor, be warned, there are no lifts, so you may well be unpacking your suitcases in the hallway and carrying your clothes (and kitchen essentials) up the curving flight of stone stairs.
Having taken up residence, it will be time to settle down, a glass of decent claret to hand, with the Fringe booklet (found in mounds all over the city), your diary and maybe the tablet (and not of the aspirin sort, at least not yet) and make plans... First, check out the Preview shows in this, the first, week; many tickets are more than half price, a boon for those on a pension. And you’ll find a good many 2 for1 tickets available next Monday and Tuesday. More details to come on Friday!
Chris Bratt returns on Friday with more dos and don'ts
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