SILLY QUESTIONS / Animals wheeled in two by two
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.A perplexing variety of theories have arrived to explain why animals have not evolved with wheels.
The case against wheeled animals is advocated by Dr Alan Gilston who maintains: 'As there is no continuity between wheel and axle, there can be no blood supply to the wheel, whose rotation would shear any blood vessels.'
Ron Wells advises examination of the mollusca. 'Many of these possess in their digestive system a crystalline style. This is a freely rotating rod which, as it turns, stirs up the food and supplies it with digestive enzymes'. Leon Menezes refers us to flagella spinning freely in the bacterial cell wall in the human gut. 'Unfortunately', he says, 'these natural wheels could never be scaled up to man's dimensions.' Tim Godfrey explains: 'No animals have evolved with wheels yet because it would be pointless and indeed species-threatening to do so until they have also evolved with disc-brakes.' He adds: 'I believe they are holding out for thief-proof hub- caps.'
This explanation seems to have eluded Stuart Cockerill, who believes that wheeled animals became extinct 'in the Diluvian era when Noah thoughtlessly built his Ark on the top of a steep hill.' They could however, equally plausibly, have all crashed to their deaths after disembarking (or should that be disemarking?) at the top of Mount Ararat.
Richard Crowe believes that animals have sensibly shunned wheels in order to avoid car tax, MOTs, allegations of speeding and a host of other wheel-dependent legislation.
Next week we shall report on the shampoo/real poo problem. Meanwhile, we would like to know: Why do the manufacturers of baseball-style caps not sew the peaks on at the back to save their owners the trouble of turning them back-to-front? (L Haynes). Are short men balder than tall men, or is it just because I can see the tops of their heads more easily? (R Bannerman). And what music should be played at a gay wedding? (Len Clarke).
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments