ROCK / It's top of the flops: Lloyd Bradley shakes the tree and dislodges ten myths about the seasonal pop chart

THE Christmas No 1 is assumed to be a kind of Holy Grail for the people who release singles - unattainable to all but a select few singing exactly the right song. The Yuletide No 1 slot is also thought to bring in its wake all sorts of cash and career benefits. But does it? And does being at the top at Christmas really mean anything to anybody other than easily excited Radio 1 DJs?

The Christmas No 1 gets more radio play:

'No it doesn't,' says Radio 1 executive producer Paul Robinson. 'Each No 1 single gets between 15 and 20 plays a week on Radio 1, and this doesn't change just because it's Christmas. Why it seems like you hear more of the Christmas No 1 is that it's often the kind of record that gets played on Radio 2 as well.'

The Christmas No 1 is a foregone conclusion - if it's not by Cliff, it's by that year's squeaky clean pop star:

Not since The Beatles' 1963 / 4 / 5 / 7 domination (they had no single out in December 1966) has the Christmas No 1 been in any way clear cut. This year, seemingly sure things Jason Donovan and Philip Schofield flopped, Cliff came a cropper and Freddie failed. Traditionally, the nice guys come second. Wham]'s 'Last Christmas' (1984), Rick Astley's 'When I Fall in Love' (1987), Bros' 'Silent Night' (1988), Jason Donovan's 'When You Come Back To Me' (1989), George Michael and Elton John's 'Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me' (1991). . . all these ran out of steam at No 2. Among outsiders who have made it are: Dave Edmunds, 'I Hear You Knocking'; Pink Floyd, 'Another Brick In The Wall'; Pet Shop Boys, 'Always On My Mind'.

It's the year's biggest seller:

This is true right now for Whitney Houston. 'I Will Always Love You' is this year's only million-selling single; but the only other year's best-seller in the last decade to make No 1 at Christmas was Band Aid's 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' (1984).

It means such a lot to the record buying public:

Only two out of 12 customers at HMV Records, Oxford Street, could remember any Christmas No 1 other than the first Band Aid record. 'It's not really for real music fans, is it?' (Carrie, 19). 'They were probably something slushy people's mums and dads bought - the only record they bought all year' (Richard, 22).

You need a song with a festive bent: Cliff clearly thinks so (his recent efforts include 'Mistletoe and Wine' 1988, 'Little Town' 1983, 'Wherever God Shines His Light' 1989, 'Saviour's Day' 1990), but only seven of the last 30 No 1s have been seasonal-style songs, while conspicuously Christmassy casualties have included: 'Last Christmas', Wham] (three times a failure, 1984-86); 'Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town', Bruce Springsteen; 'Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto', James Brown; 'Run, Rudolph Run', Bryan Adams; 'Christmas in Hollis', Run DMC; 'Step Into Christmas', Elton John; and 'The Christmas Song', Alexander O'Neal.

Record companies push a potential Christmas No 1 harder:

Whitney Houston's didn't. According to Arista's general manager Mark Williams, 'We worked it just as hard as we would have if it had come out in July. Christmas records appear to be promoted harder because all the big names release then - 40 per cent of the year's sales are in the last three months - and they naturally get more attention. Anyway, the Christmas No 1 is such a lucky dip, you could never predict which one was worth the extra push: Whitney had been out since early November and we expected it to peak three weeks ago.'

You'll become media hot property:

'The tabloids love to speculate on the Christmas No 1 beforehand, so it gets a lot of space the next day. But after that it depends how interesting the artist is.' (Daily Mirror columnist Rick Sky)

'If anything, the Christmas No 1 gets less attention from teenage mags. Christmas issues are put together a month beforehand, and the artist concerned is seldom of interest to teenagers.' (Dawn Bebe, editor of BIG])

It's a massive career boost:

It didn't do much for St Winifred's School Choir ('There's No One Quite Like Grandma' 1980), Rene & Renata ('Save Your Love' 1982) or The Flying Pickets ('Only You' 1983), did it? The apparently invincible hit machine that was Shakin' Stevens only had one more Top 10 single after his 'Merry Christmas Everyone' was a Christmas No 1 in 1985, and Pink Floyd self-destructed after 'Another Brick in The Wall' (1979).

The bookies set odds, therefore people bet on it:

Not many of them, says Karen Starkey of Ladbroke's: 'This year we took pounds 50,000, mostly in one and two pound bets, which in bookmaking terms is a tiny event. We took pounds 1.5 million on the General Election, and the Grand National is worth pounds 50 million.'

It helps if you're dead

It can do - half of Freddie Mercury's Christmas No 1s ('Bohemian Rhapsody', 1975 and 1991) were posthumous, and Jackie Wilson's 'Reet Petite' came two years after he turned his toes up and sold twice as many as it did when first released 29 years earlier. Mercury's 'In My Defence' fell short this year, though; such beyond-the-grave Elvis efforts as 'It Won't Seem Like Christmas (Without You)' and 'Santa Claus Is Back in Town' never managed it; the late John Lennon has had three attempts with 'Happy Xmas (War Is Over)' (1980, 1981 and 1988); and even teamed up with an of-this-world David Bowie, Bing Crosby couldn't manage it with 'Peace On Earth / Little Drummer Boy'.

(Photograph omitted)