Pop Lyric Sheets: House 2 House

In the week music business executives are being courted by both Labour and Conservative parties...

The music biz - a grubby trade

The province of the parvenu

A mecca for the mountebank

The newly minted badly made

It's quite declasse - nay taboo

For any parliamentary man

To come up with the kind of plan

Where party politics might yoke

Its wagon to such tawdry folk

Yet when election time rolls round

The music moguls find on laps

All kinds of invites have arrived

In recognition of their sound

More ringing tills than songs perhaps

These overtures which smack a bit

Of public school boys slumming it

May culminate in nothing more

Than modifying some contract law

Let's eavesdrop on the whole charade:

"Ah, Mr Slag. How do you do?"

"You're fond of Jungle then, PM?"

I heard you liked your bass-sound hard."

"So Tony's into ambient too?"

Can you secure the Internet?"

Think of the PRS we'll get."

"Relax, my son, you can't go wrong

If Noel writes your campaign song..."