Poetic Licence: The Inner Life Of A Dog

Wednesday 10 June 1998 23:02 BST
Comments

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

DOES YOUR pet have an inner life? This was one of the questions asked at a recent conference on the scientific study of consciousness in Tucson, Arizona. Yes, say one or two philosophers. No, says a dog owner.

THE INNER LIFE OF A DOG

On evidence produced so far

The border collie on my chair

Who daily sheds his weight in hair

Is not au fait with Schopenhauer

Or not as far as I'm aware.

When pressed, he wouldn't say as such

That lying around in my back yard

He'd ever toyed with Kierkegaard

But quietly nadgered at his crutch

As if the question was too hard

And then the Third World Debt arose

What might the western nations do?

He didn't seem to have a clue

But ran his tongue across his nose

Straight after drinking from the loo

While touching on the recent test

Of lndia's bomb - how did he feel?

The threat of conflict. Was it real?

He tried to mount a dinner guest

Which rather ruined the evening meal

And when I mentioned haute couture

He took a time to comprehend

But hinted that a recent trend

For rolling round in goat ordure

Was de rigueur for man's best friend

So had he read Anais Nin

Or ever surfed the Internet

And e-mailed to a fellow pet?

He much preferred the kitchen bin

Was all the answer I could get.

Martin Newell

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in