Halsey apologises to fans for ‘self-loathing’ music: ‘I’m sorry that melancholy has penetrated my art’
Singer reflected on her life and career ahead of her 28th birthday
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.Halsey has opened up about “a deep sadness” that she feels is inside of her, apologising to fans that it’s “penetrated” her art.
Ahead of the 27-year-old pop singer’s birthday on 29 September, she reflected deeply on her life and career.
In an Instagram story on 21 September, Halsey, who uses she/they pronouns, wrote: “I find that there’s a deep sadness inside me that no amount of worldly pleasure can touch, a loneliness, an emptiness.
“I wonder often if I chose the wrong life for myself,” the “Without Me” singer continued. “And the weight of it is suffocating. I’m sorry that melancholy has penetrated my art in a way that hasn’t served a greater purpose other than my own self-loathing.”
She added that as she’s approaching her 28th birthday, she’s “just now exhaling and gasping for air for the first time since I took a single breath in this new life at 18”.
“I am wandering lawlessly and I hope to find my way somewhere meaningful soon so that I can give you the guts I’ve always known to scoop heapings of into your ears,” she concluded. “They are shrivelling lately. If you cannot be kind, at least be gentle. With love.”
Halsey has been vocal about her struggles with mental health. In high school, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. During a 2019 interview with Rolling Stone, the Grammy-winning artist opened up about getting professional help.
“I’ve been committed twice since [I became] Halsey, and no one’s known about it. But I’m not ashamed of talking about it now,” she said.
“It’s been my choice. I’ve said to [my manager], ‘Hey, I’m not going to do anything bad right now, but I’m getting to the point where I’m scared that I might, so I need to go figure this out.’”
Enjoy unlimited access to 100 million ad-free songs and podcasts with Amazon Music
Sign up now for a 4 month free trial (3 months for non-Prime members)
Enjoy unlimited access to 100 million ad-free songs and podcasts with Amazon Music
Sign up now for a 4 month free trial (3 months for non-Prime members)
In July 2021, Halsey welcomed her first child, son Ender, with boyfriend Alev Aydin. Earlier this year, she disclosed the multiple health issues she’s been experiencing since giving birth.
If you are experiencing feelings of distress and isolation, or are struggling to cope, the Samaritans offers support; you can speak to someone for free over the phone, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.
If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call National Suicide Prevention Helpline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The Helpline is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments