Alex Turner’s greatest lyrics, including Arctic Monkeys, The Last Shadow Puppets, and the Submarine EP

To celebrate the singer's birthday, here are his best lyrics

Much to the delight of fans everywhere, Arctic Monkeys are finally back.

The Sheffield rock band’s new single “There’d Better Be A Mirrorball” was released in the early hours of Tuesday morning (30 August), marking their first music in four years.

The band also recently announced their new album, The Car, due for release on 21 October, which will feature 10 new songs written by AlexTurner and made with the band’s regular producer James Ford.

The Arctic Monkeys frontman has been writing his particular brand of acerbic song lyrics for 20 years now, and we can’t wait to hear what he’s got in store for us next. Here’s some of our hightlights from the past two decades.

Whatever People Say I Am That’s What I’m Not

The Sheffield band’s debut album – released in 2006 – is full of decade defining hits. Even the title of the album is poetic and gives us our first taste of the frontman’s visceral twists and turns. The young Turner has some of his finest moments in their ferocious 13-tracker. Let’s take a look at some of our favourites:

I want to see you take the jackpot out the fruit machine / And put it all back in / You’ve got to understand that you can never beat the bandit, no - “The View from the Afternoon”

Your name isn’t Rio but I don’t care for sand - “I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor”

Have you been drinking, son? / You don’t look old enough too me / I’m sorry, officer, is there a certain age you’re supposed to be? ‘cause nobody told me - “Riot Van”

But this lad at the side drinking a Smirnoff Ice came and paid for her Tropical Reef - “Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secure”

I’ve seen your frown and it’s like looking down the barrel of a gun / And it goes off - “Mardy Bum”

She don’t do major credit cards / I doubt she does receipts / it’s all not quite legitimate - “When the Sun Goes Down”

Last night what we talked about / It made so much sense / But now the haze has ascended / It don’t make no sense anymore - “From the Ritz to the Rubble”

And it don’t take no Sherlock Holmes / To see it’s a little different around here - “A Certain Romance”

(AFP via Getty Images)

Favourite Worst Nightmare

The bands second album – released in 2007 – showcased some of their biggest tracks to date. Packed full of quick witted, noisy floor fillers, like “Brianstorm”, “Teddy Picker” and “Fluorescent Adolescent”, Arctic Monkeys were on a roll - and so was Turner. Here’s some of our lyrical highlights:

Assuming that all things are equal / Who’d want to be men of the people / When there’s people like you? - “Teddy Picker”

You took a left off Last Laugh Lane - “Fluorescent Adolescent”

And I hope you’re holding hands by New Year’s Eve - “Only Ones Who Know”

Perhaps ‘fuck off’ might be too kind - “Do Me a Favour”

And we’re struggling with the notion that it’s life not film - “This House is a Circus”

Dorothy was right though - “Old Yellow Bricks”

It seems like once again you’ve had to greet me with goodbye / I’m always just about to go and spoil the surprise / Take my hands off of your eyes too soon - “505”

Humbug

Album number three, Humbug – released in 2009 – provided the perfect follow up to Favourite Worst Nightmare. Slightly more down tempo than its predecessor, it allows Turner’s lyrics a chance to really shine, most notably on the single “Cornerstone”. Here’s our best bits:

The way you keep me in pursuit / Sharpen the heel of your boot / And you press it in my chest and you make me wheeze / Then to my knees you do promote me - “Dangerous Animals”

I smelt your scent on the seatbelt / And kept my shortcuts to myself - “Cornerstone”

Tell me where’s your hiding place / I’m worried I’ll forget your face / And I’ve asked everyone / I’m beginning to think I imagined you all along - “Cornerstone”

And after you have dabbed the patch / you’ll grieve and then proceed to scratch / The varnish off that newly added calmness / So as not to raise any alarms too soon - “Dance Little Liar”

He became laughter’s assassin surely after he showed you what it was - “The Jeweller’s Hands”

The next time that I caught my own reflection / It was on it’s way to meet you - “Crying Lightning”

Submarine EP

In 2011, Turner endeavoured on a solo project: a film soundtrack for Submarine. The six tracks, full of melancholy sweetness, give the perfect platfrom to his lyrical genius. Here’s some of our favourite moments:

Tell me how can I put you off when you’re a matter of urgency? - “Glass in the Park”

It’s like you’re trying to get to heaven in a hurry / But the queue was shorter than you thought it’d be / And the doorman says you need to get a wristband - “It’s Hard to Get Around the Wind”

Any man who wasn’t led away into the other room / Stood pretending / That something in your magnetism hadn’t just made him drop / Whoever’s hand it was that he was holding - “Stuck on the Puzzle”

I heard an unhappy ending / It sort of sounds like you leaving - “Piledriver Waltz”

If you’re gonna try and walk on water make sure you wear your comfortable shoes - “Piledriver Waltz”

(Redferns/Getty)

Suck It and See

This is possibly the band’s most underated album. Arriving in 2011, it’s packed with bangers, from the sticky rock and roll goodness of “Black Treacle” to the comedic and cheeky “Don’t Sit Down ‘Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair”. The 2011 album also encases some of Turner’s most visceral lyrics. Here’s some of our favourites:

In an unusual place when you’re feeling far away / She does what the night does to the day - “She’s Thunderstorms”

And did you ever get the feeling / That these were things she said before? / Her steady hands may well have done / The devil’s pedicure - “The Hellcat spangled Shalalala”

Been watching cowboy films / on gloomy afternoons / - “All My Own Stunts”

The type of kisses where teeth collide/ When she laughs, the heavens hum a stun gun lullaby - “Reckless Serenade”,

Don’t worry, I’m sure that you’re still breaking hearts / With the efficiency that only youth can harness - “Love Is A Laserquest”

Do you still think love is a Laserquest? / Or do you take it all more seriously?/ I’ve tried to ask you this in some daydreams that I’ve had/ But you’re always busy being make-believe - “Love Is A Laserquest”

Do you look into the mirror to remind yourself you’re there / Or has somebody’s goodnight kisses got that covered? - “Love Is A Laserquest”

“You’re rarer than a can of Dandelion & Burdock / And those other girls they’re just post-mix Lemonade” - “Suck It and See”

AM

AM is arguably the band’s biggest album, including some of the most recognisable riffs in the world on the likes of the iconic break-up anthem “Do I Wanna Know”. Released in 2013, its smooth seductive rock’n’roll exemplifies a band in their prime. Here’s some of our favourite lines from the 2010s classic:

Been wondering if your heart’s still open / And if so I wanna know what time it shuts - “Do I Wanna Know?”

When the winter’s in full swing and / Your dreams just aren’t comin’ true / Ain’t it funny what you’ll do? - “Knee Socks”

She's a silver lining climbing on my desire - “R U Mine?”

She’s got a Barbarella silver swimsuit / And when she needs to shelter from reality / She takes a dip in my daydreams - “Arabella”

Sunglasses indoors / Par for the course / Lights in the floor / Sweat on the walls - “No 1 Party Anthem”

But that place on memory lane you like still looks the same / But something about it’s changed - “Fireside”

(Getty Images)

Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino

The band’s latest album took a very different turn and divided fans with it’s Bowie-infused sound. But whatever your opinion, it’s still distinctively Turner – albeit a more reflective one – in its lyrical sentiments. Here’s our highlights:

I just wanted to be one of The Strokes - “Star Treatment”

And do you celebrate your dark side / And then wish you’d never left the house? / Have you ever spent a generation / Trying to figure that one out? - “Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino”

Life became a spectator sport / I launch my fragrance called “Integrity” / I sell the fact that I can’t be bought - “Batphone”

When true love takes a grip, it leaves you without a choice - “Golden Trunks”

So when you gaze at planet earth from outer space / Does it wipe that stupid look off of your face? - “American Sports”

Singles / EPs / B-sides

Alongside their six studio albums, the band have released 5 EPs - and there’s some real treasures to be discovered among them. Here’s some of our highlights:

Oh, and she thinks she’s the one / But she’s just one in twenty-four - “No Buses”

It seems as we become the winners / You lose a bit of summat / And half wonder if you want it all - “Despair in the Departure Lounge”

He’s got the feeling again/ This time on the aeroplane/ There might be tellys in the back of the seats in front/ But Rodney and Del won’t do - “Despair in the Departure Lounge”

They left before the lights came on / Because they didn’t want to ruin / What it was that was brewin’ / Before they absolutely had to - “Leave Before the Lights Come On”

We’re either shouting or we’re shagging / Locked in tempestuous phase - “Too Much to Ask”

Oh, in five years’ time will it be / “Who the f***’s Arctic Monkeys?” - “Who the F*** Are Arctic Monkeys?”

Although those shoes affect your step / Don’t forget whose legs you’re on - “Don’t Forget Whose Legs You’re On”

I can feign excitement fluidly as solid as I can busk shock - “Fright Lined Dining Room”

Nice try / You cannot turn away but nice try / Turns your legs to little building blocks / And with his index finger flicks you on your socks - “Catapult”

The Last Shadow Puppets

Being the frontman in one of the UK’s biggest bands wasn’t quite enough for Turner who started The Last Shadow Puppets with his friend and fellow musician Miles Kane in 2007. Some of Turner’s best lyrics have had there time to shine through this side project, most notably on the most Turner-esque lovesongs there might be, “Sweet Dreams TN”

Best mates: Alex Turner and Miles Kane (Getty)

He’s worried she’s waiting in his dreams / To drag him back to the meeting place / His love had left him there - “Meeting Place”, The Age of the Understatement

The colourama in your eyes / It takes me on a moonlight drive - “Aviation”, Everything You’ve Come to Expect

And we’re just following the flock / ‘Round and in between, before we’re smashed to smithereens - “My Mistakes Were Made For You”

So what’s the wish? He’ll make it come true / As simple as a line out of a doo wop tune - “Miracle Aligner”, Everything You’ve Come to Expect

And as your shrinking figure blows a kiss / I’ll catch and smash it on my lips - “Sweet Dreams TN”, Everything You’ve Come to Expect

I just sort of always feel sick without you baby/ I ain’t got anything to lick without you baby- “Sweet Dreams TN”, Everything You’ve Come to Expect

You’re the first day of spring with a septum piercing - (or literally every lyric in) “Sweet Dreams TN”, Everything You’ve Come to Expect