Miscellany: Poetic licence

A recent poll of Independent On Sunday readers indicated that if the monarchy were dissolved Tony Benn would be favourite choice for President. Jarvis Cocker came second with The Queen near the bottom of the list points above Mrs Thatcher.

THE REPUBLIC 2000

(With apologies to AA Milne)

They're changing locks at Buckingham Palace

Christopher Robin went round with Alice

All the Queen's horses and all of her men

Found they belonged to themselves once again

They're opening gates at Buckingham Palace

While Christopher cruises around with Alice

He takes a swig from a bottle of beer

Saying, "Yo. It's totally excellent here."

They're housing the homeless at Windsor Castle

As part of the New Republican parcel

And all who assist with the moving of Liz

Will later be sorted for teas and fizz

With hustings located at Kensington Palace

Christopher Robin is voting with Alice

Not as peculiar as it once seemed

"Jarvis for Prezza," the newspapers screamed

They're chilling out at Buckingham Palace

Christopher Robin, The Prezza and Alice

Occasional calls for the Windsor clan

Are greeted with, "Sorry. They moved out maan"