Lyric Sheets

Tom Jones plays Cardiff International Arena tonight

Along Came Jones

Alighting from the cars

Down Mary Ann Street

In a clip-clop rush

Of pony feet.

Their handbags stuffed

With mobile phones

All bubble-cuts

And helpless moans

They were normal once

Then along came Jones

Jones the Voice

From Pontypridd.

A local, vocal monolith

A swivel of the hips

A pucker of the lips

To loosen catches

Hooks and zips

As women of a certain age

Rain underwear

Upon the stage Straight to the States

And rightly so

Could have been a

rockstar

Didn't want to know.

Far too many little boys

Smoking Tunis

Toblerones

Worth his weight

In microphones

Vegas waited.

Along came Jones

The knickers?

They're a legend now

To wipe the sex-god's

Soaking brow.

It's not unusual

With Tom Jones

This monarch of

The Glenda zones

He must be

Drinking pheromones