Lyric Sheets

Martin Newell
Friday 13 November 1998 00:02 GMT
Comments

Your support helps us to tell the story

From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.

At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.

The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.

Your support makes all the difference.

Tom Jones plays Cardiff International Arena tonight

Along Came Jones

Alighting from the cars

Down Mary Ann Street

In a clip-clop rush

Of pony feet.

Their handbags stuffed

With mobile phones

All bubble-cuts

And helpless moans

They were normal once

Then along came Jones

Jones the Voice

From Pontypridd.

A local, vocal monolith

A swivel of the hips

A pucker of the lips

To loosen catches

Hooks and zips

As women of a certain age

Rain underwear

Upon the stage Straight to the States

And rightly so

Could have been a

rockstar

Didn't want to know.

Far too many little boys

Smoking Tunis

Toblerones

Worth his weight

In microphones

Vegas waited.

Along came Jones

The knickers?

They're a legend now

To wipe the sex-god's

Soaking brow.

It's not unusual

With Tom Jones

This monarch of

The Glenda zones

He must be

Drinking pheromones

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in