HEALTH / Compulsive eaters come out of the closest: Confessions of two ex-dieters

LIZ SHEPPARD, 28, was a compulsive eater for 10 years. Her weight fluctuated wildly.

As a child I wasn't very happy, and I used to comfort-eat. I thought my problem was being fat, and so did everybody else. So I dieted rather than think about what was really wrong.

I'm a brilliant dieter; I've got iron will. I lost loads of weight, but the trouble was I always put it back very quickly. I got into a cycle of always gaining or losing weight and never being stable.

Thinking about food becomes something you do almost all the time. All the energy you could be putting into other areas of your life goes into what you will and will not eat. That's why I went for help - I got so tired of getting up every single day thinking 'I want to eat but I can't'

Giving up dieting was difficult. You have to start challenging what everyone else thinks - that dieting is a good thing. People who had supported me on my diets, like my flatmate, thought I'd lost my mind when I said I was going to eat chocolate whenever I felt like it.

I always thought that if I stopped dieting I would eat and eat and weigh 18 stone in a couple of weeks. That's why it's so scary to stop. You have to accept that you're probably not intended to be a thin person, and that it's a false ideal you're fighting for.

I never weigh myself now. But at my heaviest I was about three stone more than I weigh now, and at my thinnest about a stone less. My weight's completely stable now. I still comfort- eat if there's a big upset in my life and my weight goes up a bit. But the point is I don't worry about that, I don't judge myself.

LIZA ELLEN, 27, has never been overweight, but she dieted compulsively for 10 years.

When I was pregnant I was obsessed with not putting on weight; my biggest fear was that I wouldn't fit into my clothes when I'd had the baby. So I swam every single day and I watched everything I ate. There was no enjoyment in being pregnant for me. I was obsessed by food.

I've dieted on and off since I was 14. I did all the diets: F-Plan, Scarsdale, Fat Free, and I joined Nutri-System, who said I needed to lose a stone. I wasted pounds 1,000 on it in six months. I would always lose pounds, but as soon as I stopped dieting I'd go back to 9 1/2 stone. I used to binge on five packets of crisps or five Mars Bars or a cupful of Smash, which is still my favourite comfort food.

Then about three years ago I started going to Diet Breakers, which helped me to understand what my actual needs were - why I was craving for five Mars Bars when what I really wanted was a cuddle. I was craving acceptance.

Food still excites me. I still get up in the morning and think about what I'm going to have for dinner. But I don't do deals with myself about food, and I don't deprive myself any more. I eat what I want, when I want, and I weigh less now than I did during binges.