Zookeeper (PG)

Starring: Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, Cher

In which Kevin James yet again proves his absolute unfitness (in both senses) for the part of romantic comedy lead.

We are asked to believe that this charmless schlub has sufficient sexual magnetism to attract not only a killer blonde (Leslie Bibb), but a smokin' hot colleague (Rosario Dawson) at the zoo where he works. When his plan to make a career switch from zookeeper to car salesman becomes known, his beloved animals break their code of silence and start giving him dating tips. It's cut-price Dolittle, with a host of stars – Cher, Nick Nolte, Sly Stallone – helping out with the oh-so-funny voices. Another of them is Adam Sandler, whose toxic asininity runs through this movie like a stick of Brighton rock (he's one of the producers). There's one good laugh, involving a mariachi band, but I'm guessing that might not be enough to sell a whole movie.