Ultraviolet (15)

A few years ago, Kurt Wimmer made Equilibrium, one of the more adept attempts to rip off The Matrix. His follow-up, Ultraviolet, is another Matrix rip-off, but this time it's a senseless farrago which makes Equilibrium seem like a masterpiece. Milla Jovovich gets her midriff out for the lads yet again to play a vampire freedom frighter in a future metropolis. She can dodge bullets and ride her motorbike up the sides of buildings, feats which might have been exhilarating to watch if they looked the slightest bit realistic. They don't. Every character and every background has been digitally airbrushed until it's as blurry and fake as a computer game seen through the bottom of a pint glass.

And the plot's awfully blurred, too. Like so many sci-fi botch jobs, this one starts with a five-minute voice-over which endeavours to set up the back-story, but at no point does it establish why we should care more about Jovovich than about the hundreds of men she kills so effortlessly.