Hatchet (18)

This low-budget horror spoof lasts only 84 minutes, but seems to take forever. Two college friends holidaying in New Orleans have a break from Mardi Gras and catch a boat trip through the bayou in the assorted company of freaks and bimbos. Before you can say "careful with that axe" they're being stalked around the swamp by a horribly deformed killer. And that's it. Horror aficionados may rejoice at the cameos by Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) and some bloke who played Jason in Friday the 13th VII and VIII, but everyone else can give it the widest possible berth.