Conan the Babarian (15)

Starring: Jason Momoa, Rachel Nichols, Stephen Lang

Conan (Jason Momoa) is a man of simple tastes. "I live, I love, I slay... and I am content" is how he sums up his barbarian lifestyle.

The film essentially consists of a lot of very hairy men chopping each other into pieces. The more intimate moments (for example, the baby Conan ripped from his dying mother's womb by his distraught father) are laughable. The director Marcus Nispel choreographs the bloody action sequences with far gumption. The film's problem – and arguably the reason it has been such a clunking failure in the US – is that it's rip-roaring, juvenile matinee entertainment at heart, but is far too violent for the kids to be allowed in to see it. The 3D effects are feeble.