Why Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph should host the next Oscars

The Bridesmaids co-stars and SNL alumnae have ‘drunk mum at a wedding’ vibes, writes Annie Lord. The Academy Awards should hand them the reins immediately

Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph's presentation speeches were the best part of this year's Academy Awards (A.M.P.A.S. via Getty Images)

I would like to be adopted by Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph. If that’s too much of a tall order then please let them adopt the Oscars. Aside from Martin Scorsese falling asleep during Eminem’s performance, their presentation speeches were the best part of last night’s Academy Awards.

In a gown that made her look like a glamorous lasagna sheet, Wiig began presenting the Oscar for Best Production Design with a tight-lipped, sullen expression. “You know what, I can’t do this,” she told the audience. A heavily-sequined Rudolph nodded along: “We’re too upset.”

After an awkward pause, Wiig announced, “Guys, guys. We’re not mad. That was an act.” “We were acting,” Rudolph added proudly. The Bridesmaids co-stars and SNL alumnae were showcasing their theatrical talents for the directors in attendance. Martin Scorsese was especially amused. Here’s hoping his next feature will be a mob wives drama with Wiig and Rudolph at the helm. I certainly wouldn’t need to pause for a breather from three and a half hours of those two.

Later on in the night, the duo returned to present the award for Best Costume. In a characteristically unconventional move, they did so via a mashup of clothing-related tracks ranging from “The Thong Song” to Madonna’s “Vogue”: “Devil with a blue dress, blue dress, devil with a blue dress, blue dress on blueberry hill, vogue, vogue, vogue, vogue, vogue,” they sang, as Billie Eilish watched on in confusion. “And Monroe Dietrich and, lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek, cheek to cheek and a thong, thong, thong, thong.”

The two comedians give off “drunk Mum at a wedding” energy, and for that, they would make the perfect Oscars hosts. Doubters should watch the SNL sketch they star in together as ditsy showcase models. Taking aim at the lame prizes of The Price is Right, the two models rub a contestant’s loss in her face by flaunting the frozen chicken she was set to win.

It helps that Wiig and Rudolph are huge fans of each other. Last year, after screaming that Wiig is “built like an asparagus”, Rudolph admitted to Ellen that her friend’s Two A-Holes sketch was the reason she returned to SNL.

This is the second year in a row that the Oscars was hostless. Kevin Hart was meant to take on the role in 2019 but he stepped down after his homophobic past resurfaced in the press. In recent years, the role has become something of a poisoned chalice. The low point came in 2011, with the entirely mismatched Anne Hathaway and James Franco. Anne spoke in overexcited platitudes – “Hollywood’s biggest night!” “My mom is here!” “You’re all real!” – while Franco was so monosyllabic, many assumed he was stoned.

Seth MacFarlane’s 2013 monologue offended everyone by describing Jessica Chastain’s character in Zero Dark Thirty as “a celebration of every woman’s innate ability to never let things go”, while Neil Patrick Harris’s performance sent people to sleep with a series of cliched jokes. His bit about how British people make everything sound better squeezed out little more than a collective yawn from viewers.

For the last few years, the only regular awards show host has been Ricky Gervais, and all he does at the Golden Globes is insist it’s his last year before subjecting us to his “I’m just saying what we’re all thinking!” act (no one is ever thinking that). At its lowest points, his monologue has seen him taking aim at Caitlin Jenner for her involvement in a fatal car crash and giggling at an accusation that some leading Scientologists might be gay.

Still, despite the disappointments of the past, without a presenter walking us through the event, last night’s Oscars felt long and formless – a disconnected amalgamation of minishows where no one could understand why they were forced to sit through a rendition of “Lose Yourself” 17 years after Eminem won an Oscar for it.

Why not give Wiig and Rudolph the reins? They’ve shown themselves to be more than worthy of it. Wiig was hilarious when she played uninformed host in 2013, asserting that she has definitely seen all five films in the category before exclaiming that her favourite bit of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen was “when the salmon comes out”. When she presented the 2018 Golden Globe for Best Animation, Wiig’s humour was blacker than the tux Steve Carrell wore next to her, as she joked that she’ll always remember her first time seeing Bambi because it’s the same day her parents put her dog down. On a more politically biting note, Rudolph received huge applause when she took aim at Trump opening last year’s Golden Globes, with an announcement that Mexico will not be paying for the wall.

Wiig and Rudolph would make the Oscars funny again, but not just by announcing the wrong film as the winner. They are unproblematic angels who would be able to expose the hypocrisies and embarrassments within the film industry and society as a whole. The Oscars would be better in their care.