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Your support makes all the difference.UNUSED SAUCEPAN lids clutter up kitchens throughout the land. Surely there must be something we could do with them? Artists' palettes, birdbaths of various sizes (six and a half finches, nine and a half finches) and coracles for pixies, says Claire Dalby, who wonders, do pigs use them as satellite dishes to receive Sty TV?
John Pickin would use two to make a Yo-Yo for Roald Dahl's BFG. Issue them to the police as riot shields, says Paul Holland. Eric Bridgstock uses his as a hat, doffing it when he needs to let off steam. Eskimo snowshoes, Boudicca's peacetime hubcaps, and to stop the food falling out in Australia, suggests Peter Thomas. Frisbees for robots, argues Derek Holmes. Props for experimental morris dancers, says Clair Hubble.
Throw into the air on anger management courses, to learn how to flip your lid harmlessly, Susan Tomes prescribes. For air traffic controllers, to use instead of the table-tennis bats, Mike Gifford advises. A sun blind for portholes, a boat for mice, a mute for megaphones, say Ted, Anne & Sarah Smith, or use them in gold-prospecting, as safety helmets for mushrooms, or as a mould for casting berets.
Circular stepping-stones for Toby Beresford's low-maintenance garden; to stop Alan Brooker's old and dithery relatives from getting in a stew; or a Wall of Death track for Eric Dunkley's fleas on motorbikes. T.M. O'Grady builds a millennium dome for ants; Diane Hill gives Thomas the Tank Engine new wheels; Octavia Leigh designs a bra for Madonna. And Sue Johnson uses one as an umbrella, to protect herself from the condensed steam that drips from the kitchen ceiling whenever she cooks in uncovered pans.
Martin Brown uses them to cap geysers, Paul Turner to blinker politicians, Judith Holmes as manhole covers for Teletubbies. A modesty device for shy naturists, says Nicholas E. Gough. Or for male streakers, argues Andrew Duncan. Percussion for buskers in Tin Pan Alley, says Marilyn Johnson. Len Clarke makes a lido for earwigs. Cousin Chip provides friends for tortoises. Bruce Birchall shoves snow custard pies in your face. Then there are Leslie Hughes's sporran, John Morton's discus and R.J. Pickles's UFOs.
Claire Dalby, John Pickin and Ted, Anne & Sarah Smith win a Chambers Dictionary of Quotations. History has been unkind to Marie Antoinette. Reputed to have replied "Let them eat cake!" to the statement, "The people have no bread", what she really said was "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche." Brioche is a soft kind of bread, not so much of a luxury item as cake. We wondered what other famous sayings may perhaps have been misreported, and what readers think was really said. Suggestions to Loki.Valhalla @btinternet.com or Creativity, Features, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, London E14 5DL, by Wednesday, 17 November. Results on 23 November. Next week: what lies on the newly discovered planet beyond Pluto?
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