Fifty Shades writer EL James on why she’s in therapy over self-doubt
‘I have imposter syndrome and knowing I’ve sold 165 million books doesn’t make it easier,’ author said
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Your support makes all the difference.EL James, the writer of the Fifty Shades of Grey books and film franchise, has opened up about her feelings of imposter syndrome.
James released the first book in her hugely successful erotic novel series in 2011, exploring the deepening relationship between college graduate Anastasia Steele and young businessman Christian Grey, who introduces Ana to the world of BDSM.
The initial trilogy has been expanded with a parallel set of novels “as told by Christian”, and James’s books have been adapted into numerous films starring Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson in the lead roles.
Writing in The Sunday Times Magazine, James admitted: “The success of Fifty Shades still confounds me. I was like a rabbit in the headlights. I didn’t expect such a furore and didn’t deal with it well. I couldn’t sleep and was anxious, especially around the time of the movies.”
She added: “All I’d done was sit down and write something I’d have wanted to read, an erotic and fun romance. At the heart of my books are the characters and their relationship, which I really care about. End to end bonking would be pretty boring.
“I have imposter syndrome and knowing I’ve sold 165 million books doesn’t make it easier. I find it depressing that I can’t shift the self-doubt so I’m in therapy now. I’ve been called courageous but I’m actually quite a coward. I’m a lot braver in my fiction than in real life.”
Dornan has previously opened up about his feelings surrounding some of the reactions to the Fifty Shades film franchise.
When asked by GQ whether he regrets taking the part, Dornan said: “Look, put it this way: it’s done no harm to my career to be part of a movie franchise that has made more than $1bn. Every working actor would say the same thing. It’s provided – a lot.
“There’s no shame in saying it’s transformed my life and my family’s life financially. I am very, very grateful for this and always will be. And the fans loved it. Kevin Maher [the film critic] at The Times didn’t love it – what a surprise!”
Dornan added: “But I take issue with the whole thing being just a bit of a joke. Everyone involved worked as hard as they could on those films, including myself.”
The Independent gave all three films in the franchise one star. In his review of the last film, Fifty Shades Freed, our critic Geoffrey Macnab wrote: “It might provide escapism for undemanding couples looking for Valentine’s Day entertainment or members of hen parties who’ve drunk so much chardonnay that their critical faculties have been dulled.
“As storytelling, though, it is flaccid and inert. Director James Foley has made some decent thrillers in his time but simply can’t find a way to whip up any dramatic interest here whatsoever.”
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