Oh no, the iPhone 7 stories have started

And there was you thinking you wouldn't hear the word 'bezel' for at least a year

Wednesday 10 December 2014 13:28 GMT

(Martin Hajek)

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It was with a heavy heart that I sold one of my children to pay for an iPhone 6, and I'm now just months later I'm staring down the barrel of pawning the remaining two for the iPhone 7, the specifications of which are already being debated.

Based on Wild Internet Speculation over new features including a full-screen display and smaller home button, designer Martin Hajek has got tech geeks drooling with some pretty convincing, if completely fantastical, concept art for Apple's next must-have cuboid.

It looks pretty sexy, and definitely like the sort of phone I would enjoy shining with my sleeve for a bit before inevitably dropping it down the toilet and committing seppuku, but several questions remain unanswered:

- Will the display be made from the crystalised tears of orphaned pandas as hoped?

- Can it be triangulated with the iWatch and iPad to summon the ghost of Steve Jobs?

- Will it be safer to upload 1TB worth of d*ck pics to the iCloud? (asking for a friend)

- Any sign of the rumoured glitter dispenser?

- Will it be the 'best iPhone ever'? I need Apple to tell me it's their 'best iPhone ever'.

- Can I watch Netflix whilst fielding iMessage, Whatsapp, Facebook messages and simultaneously FaceTiming vintage-effect video of myself being slapped with a fish in super slow-mo?

Mercifully we won't find out for some time, at least until that Chinese guy uploads fake pictures of the iPhone 7 while his mates are in hysterics out of shot.

Anyway, here's your glut of concept renders: