The Hacker | Peter Corrigan

Living it up in the ante-chamber to death

Apart from all the natural hazards they face – such as wind, rain, hail, frost, ditches, dunes, bushes, trees and the consequences of their own physical frailties – golfers are subject to more than their fair share of ridicule.

It doesn't help that the game finds it difficult to shake off an image fashioned in the upper echelons of Victorian society. Even now, people regard golf clubs as the last bastions of British imperialism and full of crusty old colonels and snobs in plus-fours.

Worse still, golf is condemned as fit merely to assist old men to reach their dotage years. Only last week, the veteran BBC disc jockey John Peel launched into an odd tirade against the ancient game, saying: "Whenever friends say they've taken up golf, I tend to cross them off mentally. It just seems like an ante-chamber to death."

Perhaps, Peel hasn't studied the age-scale of the current crop of top golfers, let alone their rewards scale. I would say that Tiger Woods had upped the ante-chamber slightly.

However, Peel was more likely referring to harmless old hackers who hurt no one but themselves in their battles to keep the fire of sporting ambition burning.

The one consolation is that if he dislikes the game he won't take it up, which means that other players will be spared that boring monotone for the four hours a round takes.

But let's not get personal and concentrate instead on refuting the suggestion that our fairways are full of shuffling old morons who can be written off mentally.

Most club golfers, the elderly especially, tend to be fit and agile and as wily as they come. And if you think an obsession with golf destroys interest in current affairs, an hour or two listening to the arguments in any golf club bar would change your mind.

As for the running of the clubs and the various sections within them, the amount of politicking, conniving and conspiracy that goes on would make your hair stand on end.

As a breed, golfers are a lively lot both physically and mentally. It is a hard game and takes a lot of learning. Some of us never manage it successfully but are forever committed to the search for improvement.

Some take it up for the first time when they retire, but most late recruits have tried the game in the past only to find their interest stymied by the pressure of building careers and bringing up families.

Retirement brings the opportunity to devote more time to the game and what other sport gets you out and about in the fresh air in all weathers? Rambling, possibly, but at least golfers are tramping over their own land.

The large number of older golfers testifies to the healthiness of the game. Electric trolleys and caddie cars can help prolong a golfing life into a player's 80s or 90s. So can replacement knees and hips (not to mention replacement hip-flasks).

Not everyone gets a chance to enjoy golf like Joe "Spud" Murphy who died recently aged 78. Joe made his fortune by creating the Tayto crisp company in Ireland. He sold the company in 1983 and retired to Spain, spending the next 18 years playing golf five days a week. He never reduced his handicap below 24 but his enthusiasm remained undimmed – a true hacker to the end and, what's more, a happy one. Only God could build an ante-chamber as sweetly satisfying as golf.