The Top 10: Greats (Things)

After last week’s list of people called ‘the Great’, a list of the greatest non-person greats

Contemporary painting of No 7: Museum of London

We did people called “The Great” last week – the 10 greatest from a longlist, according to Wikipedia, of 104. Some nominations were not of people, so I decided to compile a second list.

1. War. “Sent the human race in a direction away from the technological and social utopia of promise and hope of the 19th century and towards a new dark age”, said Paul T Horgan.

2. Boo. From the Blackadder II episode, “Beer”, the Great Boo whose waking from a bout of sleeping sickness was noted with a cry of “Great Boo’s up”. Thanks to Alan Robertson.

3. Britain. Means the larger of the two largest British Isles, the other being Ireland, nothing to do with moral stature of the combination of England, Wales and Scotland. Nominated patriotically by Geoffrey Peter, Philip Cowley and Paul Frame, although the political trope, “put the great back into Britain” is, therefore, a pun, as is British Bake Off, nominated by Graham Sutton.

4. Crested Newt. “This one always bothered me in the Observer books of silly things little boys tick off as the only other newt listed was Little and not crested at all.” Geoffrey Peter.

5. Vowel Shift. Change in how most English vowels were pronounced in the 15th and 16th centuries, just as spelling was becoming standardised. Bite used to sound like beet; meet used to sound like mate; boot used to sound like boat. Thanks to Anne Giegerich and Chris Jones‏.

6. Repeal Bill. Nominated by Chris Jones and Enid Driscoe, although the spoilsport parliamentary drafters have refused to allow the Government to add adjectives to the bill’s name, even though the 1832 Reform Bill, nominated by Lee Donaghy, was known as Great and so was the Education Reform Bill, Kenneth Baker’s “Gerbil”, nominated by Philip Downer.

7. Fire of London. Matthew Bailey‏, who also nominated coat.

8. Expectations. Nominated by Rory Bremner (yes, him).

9. Nef. An incredibly dry desert, to the point it has negative rainfall (“fen” backwards). From Terry Pratchett via Darren Zak Scott.

10. Schubert’s Ninth Symphony. Nominated by Alex Goodall, who started the greats (people).

No room, then, for Depression (or even Recession, a more recent David Cameron coinage that never really caught on), Gatsby (Derek Sutherland), Outdoors (BurnsMarks1962), Red Dragon (William Blake’s paintings, nominated by Alan Robertson) and Wall of China.

Next week: Worst Prime Ministers We Have Never Had, after Boris Johnson’s second near miss after the election

Coming soon: Best Debut Albums, a guest list by Andrew Sentance

The e-book of Listellany: A Miscellany of Very British Top Tens, From Politics to Pop is just £3.79. Your suggestions, and ideas for future Top 10s, in the comments please, or to me on Twitter, or by email to top10@independent.co.uk