Grim school dinners are a rite of passage for all children

As a Southampton headteacher acknowledges the inadequacy of his school’s lunches, Will Gore gets ready to tuck in

Last week Jason Ashley, a headteacher in Southampton, wrote to parents to acknowledge that the lunches being served to pupils in his own school were unacceptable (Redbridge Community School/PA Wire)

Pilchards were my particular terror. Slathered in a sweet tomato sauce, they were nobody’s favourite – but to me, they beat all other school dinner horrors by a mile.

Given the choice, I’d even prefer the grey meat cobbler, in which chewy bits of gristle bobbed indiscernibly in thick gravy. And, if available, the chicken pie was usually a much better bet – except for that time I found half a staple in my slice.

But if you happened to be last in for lunch on a pilchard day, there might be no choice left to make; and as you stared around, hoping beyond hope that a spam fritter might emerge from the darkest recesses of the deep fat fryer, a sad piece of oily fish and a heavy dollop of sauce would be plopped unceremoniously onto your plate by the unsmiling dinner lady. And the deputy head would ensure you ate your fill – or as much as you could without gagging.