If you think Jonny's behaviour towards Tyla on Love Island is romantic, you're dangerously wrong

Heading to the Beach Hut to moan about what he saw as Tyla’s impermissible behaviour when she splashed around with Theo in the pool, Jonny insisted that there ‘shouldn’t be any touchy feely playtime, there shouldn’t be all these long-winded conversations’

Love Island is the TV show of the moment, watched by millions, including hordes of young women (ITV/Rex)

He’d already lost it when new boy Theo “stole” Tyla in a re-coupling, calling him a “gigantic bellend” for daring to tread on what he clearly sees as his property, but when Jonny suggested that his love rival would need to prise his partner from his “cold, dead hands”, Love Island fans were left feeling decidedly uneasy.

Suddenly, all this supposedly trivial romantic banter in the name of everlasting love and £50,000 had taken a turn towards something darker. Those three chilling words, albeit disguised beneath an unpalatable layer of jest, gave viewers a disturbing glimpse at what Jonny the boyfriend may be like. It wasn’t pretty; it was possessive. It wasn’t soppy; it was scary.

Remember Mark from Love Actually turning up at Juliet’s house holding placards declaring his undying love for her, despite knowing she didn’t return his feelings and was in fact happily married to his best mate? That scene was sold to viewers as endearing and worthy of our sympathy, but it normalised behaviour which came uncomfortably close to stalking. There is nothing sweet about stalking, just as there is nothing cute about control.

Heading to the Beach Hut to moan about what he saw as Tyla’s impermissible behaviour when she splashed around with Theo in the pool, Jonny insisted that there “shouldn’t be any touchy feely playtime, there shouldn’t be all these long-winded conversations”. In other words, Tyla should be his and his alone. The jealousy he felt while she was right in front of him seemed so intense he was practically turning green, but, as she pointed out, in the “real world”, when he couldn’t watch her all the time, he would likely find it even harder to manage.

In conversation with her fellow islanders about her doubts over Jonny, Tyla mentioned that she had struggled with a controlling boyfriend who had made her want to “run away” in the past. Fortunately, that troubling experience has heightened her awareness of traits she wishes to avoid in a future partner. But not all women are as well-equipped to know when to call quits on something toxic.

Love Island is the TV show of the moment, watched by millions, including hordes of young women. Romance means different things to different people, but when the first hints of controlling behaviour are misinterpreted as signs of passionate love, it can quickly spiral out of control, becoming something even more sinister.

That is why it was a relief to see Polly Neate, CEO of domestic abuse charity Women’s Aid, call out Jonny’s “cold, dead hands” comment for what it was: sexist, rather than let it be taken on the chin as “banter” by naive viewers who may not have otherwise questioned it and may, in turn, go on to accept similar behaviour in their own relationships. One in four women in the UK experience domestic abuse in their lifetimes and two are killed by their partners every week: the language of domestic abuse, as Neate says, “is no laughing matter”.

Of course, there is nothing to suggest that Jonny would go on to abuse Tyla, nor is there any evidence that he has been abusive in the past, but his behaviour on the show has been problematic. Women need to learn to identify warning signs and call out sexist remarks before becoming embroiled in relationships that can be difficult, dangerous and, in some tragic cases, fatal to leave.

Spelling out a happy birthday message in avocado toast as a surprise like Jamie did for birthday girl Camilla? That’s romantic. Suggesting that they’ll never let you go until rigor mortis sets in, regardless of your opinion on the matter? Not so much.