My three-year-old son hasn't spent one Christmas or birthday with his father because of the government's immigration rules

All we’re asking for is a more humane approach, so that we and others like us can build a family life

My partner and I had a child, always planning on coming back to the UK – all of my family is here, and it’s natural that I’d want to come home (Laura Clarke)

Imagine being told that you don’t earn enough to be with the person you love. Well that’s what happened to me, and to thousands of people like me.

Here’s my story: I’m a British citizen, born and raised here. After university, I decided to travel, to get to know another culture and to broaden my horizons. While I was living abroad, I fell in love with the most amazing, caring man, a primary school teacher with the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known. We had a child, always planning on coming back to the UK – all of my family is here, and it’s natural that I’d want to come home.

But since, as a new mother, I couldn’t earn £18,600 a year, I’ve been told I can’t have my family all in one place. My son and I live in the UK, while my partner is stuck thousands of miles away. By now, our child is coming up to three years old, but he has never had a Christmas or a birthday with his father. My partner was denied the joy of seeing our son’s first steps, of hearing his first word.

There’s only so much connection a three-year-old can have with a photo, or with a voice over the phone. Why deny my son a hug from his father just because of what I earn as a single working mother?

Because of the Minimum Income Requirement, we’ve lived in limbo for two and a half years. I haven’t been able to make a single plan for the future – I don’t know when or if we’ll be able to get a mortgage together, or even if we’ll ever be able to take our son to the park, or laugh at something funny he says in the middle of a tantrum. Parenting is hard as it is, and not being able to share it with the person I love is heart-breaking.

I want everyone to know: this affects you. This is about you, and who you fall in love with. This is a civil rights issue, a two-tier system for British citizens where we are put into boxes on the basis of our income. It’s tougher for women, too, and especially for women with children. These rules affect thousands upon thousands of people, but our voices are not being heard.

The anti-migrant rhetoric that exists today has normalised a system that separates loving families, that can rip a child from a parent who happens to be from another country.

And now, the government has said that it plans to apply these rules to anyone with a partner who is from the EU, too. This means that thousands more families will be spending Christmas apart in years to come just because of their income.

I don’t know exactly what will happen in the future, all I know is that I have to keep on fighting. Women’s rights, LGBT rights, ethnic minority rights – they have had to be fought for, tooth and nail.

Of course changing these rules is going to take time, patience and resilience. But we can’t wait for 10 years, only to look back and say, “Now we know that this policy was wrong.” I know that it’s only a matter of time until the government and the wider public realise that we need change.

All we’re asking for is a more humane approach, so that we and others like us can build a family life.

I’ve always been proud to be from a very accepting, diverse country, and it shocks me that a country like the UK could do this. When the Minimum Income Requirement is scrapped, as it will be sooner or later, I’ll be elated – but I’ll also think, “That reflects the place I grew up in. That reflects British values.”

Laura Clarke works for a local charity which supports children with disabilities and is a campaigner for the Joint Council for the Welfare of Immigrants