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When Rishi met Elon (…or, how not to ask your hero for a job)

Can the prime minister’s much-anticipated ‘in conversation’ with the Space X boss really land him the Big Tech role post-Downing Street that he’s clearly clamouring for, asks James Moore

Thursday 02 November 2023 18:30 GMT
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Rishi Sunak will interview Elon Musk at the Bletchley Park AI summit
Rishi Sunak will interview Elon Musk at the Bletchley Park AI summit (AFP via Getty Images)

As a man who famously likes his coffee served in a self-warming Bluetooth mug (price: £180), Rishi Sunak really, really loves his tech. Who better than our gadget-head PM to get world leaders together for a pow-wow about the future of artificial intelligence? Come on, guys!

Rishi could barely contain his excitement about his Bletchley Park AI safety summit and the chance to spend two days outside Milton Keynes. And even churls would have to admit this high-tech happening – the first of its kind – is an opportunity for Britain to put itself at the centre of something truly epoch-making.

That this has also been a chance for Rishi to network with other world leaders and Silicon Valley’s finest, and perhaps even impress a potential future employer for when his time in Downing Street is up, is purely coincidental.

It says a lot about Sunak personally that he has secured Elon Musk, the boss of Tesla, SpaceX and Twitter (now X) and a man who is even richer than him, to be the star turn. The conference closes tonight with an ‘in conversation’ chat between the pair on X/Twitter, and Sunak will be the one asking the questions – which isn’t how job interviews normally go.

But then Elon Musk is no ordinary tech boss. Here’s how Rishi and Elon’s conversation might go today…

Rishi: I’d like to welcome Elon Musk to Bletchley Park. He’s a man who needs no introduction. But, seeing as I needed no general election to get to No 10, here goes anyway.

Elon is a man with a vision. A 21st-century pioneer. He’s also an unelected world leader, so he’s my kind of guy. A man I can do business for – I mean “with”.

Around this time last year, as I was settling in to Downing Street, Elon was counting the cost of having paid billions over the odds to buy Twitter. At the time, his platform was the social media equivalent of our global town square, somewhere to go to exchange views and ideas while the noisiest yobbos were kept at bay. But over the past 12 months, with his usual disregard for industry standards and best-practice, Elon has got rid of Twitter’s pesky gatekeepers and let the floodgates open.

His is a buccanneering spirit that other entrepreneurs can only dream of. With that in mind, he abandoned one of the world’s most recognisable digital brands, renaming it… X – all part of his grand masterplan to make the platform worth less than half the price he originally paid for it.

When it comes to devaluing and demeaning a beloved old brand, I’m delighted to say that, here in Britain, following 13 years of Conservative leadership, his priorities are our priorities. Elon, welcome.

Elon: Thanks, Rishi.

Rishi: Elon, you’re a space leader, a man who has shown himself to be in tune with the British people by bringing an end to woke nonsense on X. Now, artificial intelligence is reshaping almost every industry and will impact society in ways we are only just beginning to understand. How do you see mankind’s future with AI?

Elon: Well… how do you see it, Rishi?

Rishi: I think it’s an incredible opportunity, and I welcome the determination of people like you to embrace it. When it comes to delivering on the amazing opportunities AI offers the British people, and the people of the world, there is no better leader.

Elon: Thanks, Rishi.

Rishi: How do you see AI improving the service on X and enhancing the Tesla driving experience?

Elon: Well, we’ll see. What do you think?

Rishi: I think the opportunities it offers are incredible. For instance, I like to use AI to fine-tune my humanoid delivery of those stilted set-piece speeches I give. Elon, I welcome the determination of people like you to safely embrace it. And then deliver for the British people – and for the world’s people… – on the amazing opportunities it offers. A world run on artificial intelligence couldn’t be safer than in your hands. There is no better leader.

Elon: Ah, didn’t you already say that? By the way, I was annoyed about you letting petrol cars hang around in Britain until 2035. I don’t like woke, but I want to save the planet, too.

Rishi: Oh, but I’ve stressed that here in Britain, we’re still very much committed to net zero by 2050 – only now we’ll just have less time to achieve it. Speaking of time, perhaps this is a good moment to wrap things up. Elon, I wanted to thank you unneccesarily again. I think I speak for us all when I say there is no better leader to navigate us through the unchartered waters of artificial intelligence, and that we all welcome your determination to embrace it. Safely.

Elon: Thanks, Rishi.

Rishi: So how’d I do? Just get me over to California after the general election, and I’ll knock Nick Clegg out of the park, as they say in the States. Do you know I already have a green card?

Elon: Texas.

Rishi: Rishi: Texas? Silly me, of course. No chance you have an opening in sunny California, do you? Akshata and I already own a penthouse in Santa Monica. Not that we can’t stretch to buying another pad if needs be…

Elon: Nope, Texas is where I’d want you. I’m building a tech town on thousands of acres of farmland near the Mexican border, something to rival Mountain View or Palo Alto. I had to – they keep putting taxes up in Cali. Like you do!

But we’re not there yet. I mean, I’m a bit worried about having you on my team. I only back winners, and you got the keys to Number 10 without a general election. You’ve not exactly proved yourself – and my AI bots put your chances at less than 10 per cent.

Do I really want to give a job to the guy who’s going to lose to, what is it, Keir Stormer? I mean, that Tony Blair was pretty popular over here, but do I want the guy who can’t beat a no-mark like Sturmer representing me?

Rishi: Give me a break! Have you seen the rabble I’ve got working for me? I’ve managed to keep them from kicking me out, and the public from storming Downing Street. That’s got to be worth something?

Hire me, and you’ll put one over on Zuckerberg. Clegg was only ever deputy PM. You’ll have the real thing. Think about that. I’d do a great job handing you the towel when you have that cagefight with Zuckerberg.

Mr Musk, it’s time for Rishi!

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