I can’t stand the build up to Christmas – it’s nauseating

Christmas is a chance for those with the least cash to grow their debt, and for the very rich to pop into Tiffany’s and buy something understated and useful

Joe, the main character of the 2017 John Lewis Christmas ad, admires his present from Moz the Monster

Christmas arrived many weeks ago, when supermarkets removed the sun block from shelves and started piling “luxury” mince pies by the checkout. Now, the campaign to win our seasonal spending is well underway, with lavish mini-movies filling prime time television ad breaks.

In the battle for the middle class shoppers, John Lewis’ advert features a mischievous blue furry monster called Moz, while kindly Paddington Bear outwits a burglar in a series of rooftop escapades for M&S – for retailers, Christmas is all about merchandising, not celebrating a religious festival.

These mini-parables might make some sad sods weep, but I find them nauseating. The truth is, big stores face challenges as shopping online gathers momentum and spending remains static.

Christmas is a chance for those with the least cash to grow their debt, and a chance for the very rich to pop into Tiffany’s and buy something understated and useful. The luxury jewellers have just launched an “everyday” collection, featuring a silver can at £945, a ball of silver string at £8,475 and their version of a paper takeaway coffee cup in solid silver for £540.

I might be hard to please, but a silver can has no place in my kitchen.