'For the rest of my life, it's going to affect everything': Rape survivors tell their stories

Life After Sexual Violence: The Independent's series features seven survivors of rape and sexual assault, who describe the reality of life for the millions of survivors worldwide, from their recovery to their relationships

“For the rest of my life, it’s going to affect how I live my life day to day, this is going to affect my friendships, my sexual relationships, everything,” says Faye White.

Faye is just one of the seven people who feature in Life After Sexual Violence, a series which throws a spotlight on the reality of life after a sex attack.

In the first of seven other episodes, our survivors discuss how we as a society talk about rape, why it’s such a difficult conversation to have, and how the shocking nature of incidents paralyses so many otherwise caring people.

The group discuss the justice system, and why such a tiny proportion of sexual assault and rape cases are reported or bring convictions – and the effect this has on survivors when considering the potentially traumatising process of a trial.

In another episode survivors discuss how their jobs and careers were impacted by their experience of sexual assault, and how they often lost out on months or years of work because of an attack.

The survivors dissect why some media coverage of rape focuses on high-profile stories and false allegation cases, and how this has a direct, negative impact on reporting rates and society’s ideas about sexual assault.

There is an exploration of how survivors recover and care for themselves in the aftermath of an attack and how hobbies, creative work or personal journey which people took upon themselves to not allow this incident to define, or ruin them.

Triggers of sexual assault are discussed in a further film, while finally the group discuss how their relationships and sex lives were impacted by experiencing sexual violence.

Our participants include Emily Jacob, 44, who runs ReConnected Life, a coaching and community program for survivors of sexual violence; Tanaka Mhishi, 24, a writer from London; Imogen Butler-Cole, 40, a theatremaker and performer with a solo stage show ‘Foreign Body’, about life after sexual assault; Sophie Yates Lu, 28, a campaigner from London; Winnie M Li, 38, a writer and film producer, whose new book ‘Dark Chapter’ won the Guardian’s “Not the Booker” prize; Faye White, 25, a journalist; and Alex Bryce, 34, a political advisor.

If you have been a victim of sexual violence, you can find your local Rape Crisis organisation here if you are a woman seeking support and services, or if you a man or a woman, through The Survivors’ Trust.