The tourism slogans that are just lies

The Man who Pays his Way: While some tourist boards have dreamed up bizarre lines to promote their countries, others have fibbed shamelessly

(iStockphoto)

This year, it’s 7 January: the day deemed by the travel industry to be “Sunshine Saturday”, when they expect the highest number of holiday bookings. And as tour operators put out ambitious (some would say spurious) press releases predicting huge demand for the new resorts they are launching for the year, it’s also the day when the destination marketeers see how well their slogans perform.

Florida set the pace when it grabbed the nickname “the Sunshine State”; rather more enticing than that for the location at the opposite end of the US East Coast: Maine, “the Pine Street State”.

On a national level, it’s a wonder that some countries get away with slogans that are plain misleading. The national tourism agency for the former Soviet republic of Belarus has tried “Keep Calm and Visit Belarus” and the bizarre “Your New Birthday is Here”. But it has settled on the claim that it offers “hospitality without borders”. Yet the reality is that it is one of very few European countries that require you to jump through a series of bureaucratic hoops even to catch one of the international trains that clips a corner of Belarus. If you forget, says the Foreign Office, “the border authorities will send you to Minsk to obtain the appropriate visa. You may also have to pay a fine of up to $300 and face deportation.”

In the marvellous nation of Colombia, apparently, “The only risk is wanting to stay.” Well, the US State Department suggests otherwise: “Continued vigilance is warranted due to an increase in recent months of violent crime … Terrorist groups and other criminal organisations continue to kidnap and hold civilians, including foreigners, for ransom.”

Other nations shy away from misleading claims, but make assertions that are, frankly, meaningless. Someone made a lot of cash out of persuading the government in Amman that the best way to sell the country was with the line: “Yes, it’s Jordan”. Which ranks for sheer uselessness alongside “Brexit means Brexit”.

Guatemala in Central America wisely makes a bit of a land-grab with “Corazón del Mundo Maya”, “Heart of the Mayan World”. The subtext: Mexico, Belize and Honduras are mere hangers-on to the Mayan legends.

Neighbouring El Salvador conjured up a one-word slogan, “Impressive!”, while “Honduras un Pais Amor a Primera Vista” (“Honduras a Country Love at First Sight”) takes six words to say something unconvincing.

Talking of love: I had a lovely holiday in Slovenia between Christmas and New Year, in which the only irritation was the constant reminder from tourist posters and publications that someone thought “I feel SLOVEnia” was a great idea.

The slogans that work are those which build on existing reputations, such as New Zealand’s “100 per cent Pure”, or those which are temptingly concise boasts: “Cameroon – all of Africa in one country”, “Malaysia Truly Asia” or Oman’s “Beauty has an address”.

Back in the Sunshine State, slogans abound. As I drove south through Gulf County on the Florida panhandle, I passed a church with a sign outside that hinted at the conflict in America over the acrimonious presidential election. It urged passing motorists, hesitatingly: “If possible be at peace with all men”.

The strip of Florida that extends so far west that it enters another time zone is far more Deep South than Miami Beach, but even here the marketing people have been busy making up words that will upset your spellchecker as well as your sensibilities. Such as “ecosploring”, as in, “In South Walton there’s no shortage of ecosploring opportunities among the forests, trails and lakes”. And my rental-car company didn’t send me a confirmation of my booking, but a “carfirmation”.

But when I finally reached Pensacola in the far west of Florida, I discovered the best tourism slogan on the planet. The city embraces a superb island beach, rich heritage and wildlife. And a former mayor, Vince Whibbs, summed up Pensacola as: “The western gate to the Sunshine State, where thousands live the way millions wish they could”.

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