Mum divides opinion on leaving 16-year-old at home while on holiday

‘My parents left me home alone at 15. I resent to this day that they went away without me,’ wrote one commenter

Lucy Thackray
Friday 14 October 2022 11:33 BST
Comments
Would you leave your teenage son at home for a week?
Would you leave your teenage son at home for a week? (Getty Images)

A mother has split opinion by asking the users of social media platform Mumsnet if it’s appropriate to leave her 16-year-old son at home alone while on holiday.

The mother posed the question to the Mumsnet two weeks ago, asking: “Would you allow it?”

“DS (Dear Son) insists he doesn’t want to go on holiday with us next year. He’ll be 16 and a half,” she wrote in the post.

“I don’t want to leave him as I think it’s too young. He’s mature for 16 but doesn’t cook ... he knows how to make oven food like pizza/nuggets etc so wouldn’t starve.

“He’d be home alone as his sister will be at uni and the last thing he wants is her coming back to ‘babysit’. They get along ok but he wants a week of just being by himself with nobody else home.”

The mother went on to say “I’m not worried about him having parties”, adding that her son “has had offers of going to parties but said they’re not for him”.

“His friends are always here anyway so it won’t bother me if they visit while we are away,” she wrote.“Grandparents from both sides of the family live within 10 minute walking distance, aunt’s like five minute drive away and would pop in to check if he needs anything,” she explained.

Followers were split on the matter, with some saying the move was – as the mother put it – “a bit neglectful”, and others absolutely sure that a 16-year-old could look after themselves for a week.

“You know your child. If it’s during school term time and he’s 16 it sounds like he wouldn’t be in much anyway. Personally at 16 I wouldn’t have wanted to be alone for a week but with the support you’ve mentioned he has people he can see if he’s struggling,” wrote user ThatisWild.

“Of course, unless he has SN or is a raging tearaway. He’s old enough to leave home and get a job,” commented another. “Get him to go to GPS (grandparents) for a couple of meals if it makes you feel better and check in daily.”

“My parents had a lovely week in Italy when I was 16 and I had a lovely week seeing my friends, watching TV on the sofa rather than the floor and eating what I wanted when I wanted. He’ll be fine,” wrote user Charcy.

Several followers of the post were less confident about their teens’ wellbeing and safety.

“I wouldn’t have left my dd (dear daughter) at 16 but I’m ridiculously over protective,” said one.

“I wouldn’t leave my 16 year old for a whole week but maybe yours is a bit more sensible and conscientious than mine!” replied another.

Meanwhile, one commenter spoke from experience about being left alone as a teen. “My parents left me home alone at 15. I resent to this day that they went away without me,” they shared.

“Some horrible kids from school found out and kept coming round. My grandparents lived nearby but I was too scared to tell them.”

However, lots of commenters saw the situation as a no-brainer, with one commenting: “He’s 16, not 6,” and another adding, “I lived on my own at that age”.

Later, the mother in question chipped in again to respond to some of the frequent comments, saying that her son “definitely could (and most likely would) go to each grandparents house for a meal as he’s a sucker for MILs cooking.

“She would also most likely send leftovers home with him. My dad would call in each evening on his nightly walk and my Mum and Dad have a spare bedroom if he decided after a few nights that he didn’t like being alone.”

“I am quite overprotective I suppose so that’s the reason for the thread, to get other parents views on it,” she added.

It’s not the first time holidaymakers have been divided by a “AIBU” (am I being unreasonable?) issue - also known on the forum website Reddit as “AITA (Am I The A**hole?).

In July, a man’s Reddit rant about woman “reeking of perfume” sitting next to him on a plane stoked debate between frequent flyers.

Then in August, a traveller’s complaint about his girlfriend’s ‘messed up’ habit on flights similarly provoked heated discussion between air travellers.

Join our commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in