The London Olympics 2012 Trending Awards: Damon Hill, sweat-moppers and Hey Jude...
...were just some of the highlights of the 30th Olympiad. But what else had Trending nearing the edge of its sofa?
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"Hey Jude" at the Opening Ceremony, led by Macca. A nation na-na-na-ed.
"Hey Jude" in the Velodrome, led by Macca. A nation cringed.
"Hey Jude" in Liverpool St station sung by drunker bankers, as tweeted by Macca. A nation smiled a bit. (bit.ly/heyjudesing)
Those lost property highlights in full
Sails Aussie sailor Elise Rechichi revealed that Heathrow staff lost three sets of her team's sails. This act of sabotage didn't pay off, though, Rechichi and Belinda Stowell tipped GB to a 470 gold on Friday.
Sunglasses Lizzie Armitstead lost her "lucky" Oakley sunglasses on the route of the road cycle race. Surrey police made a public appeal on Twitter for their return.
Vest Ivan Ukhov panicked when, having ditched his top between high-jumps, he lost it. Instead the Russian went for gold in a T-shirt. And subsequently won.
Training gear Bradley Wiggins was miffed when someone nicked his kit from the team's Surrey hotel. He was even more miffed when the hotel gleefully tweeted: "It seems an over-zealous fan has scored a fantastic London 2012 souvenir."
OUCH! London 2012's worst injuries
Hockey A tie between GB captain Kate Walsh's fractured jaw and Kiwi Katie Glynn whose head was mistaken for a ball by the Netherlands' Ellen Hoog. BMX Another tie between the US's Arielle Martin lacerating her liver (!) in practice and Edzus Treimanis of Latvia's nose-flattening face plant in the seeding round. Athletics – no contest. US sprinter Manteo Mitchell running half of his turn in the 4x400m with a broken leg.
Best public displays of affection
Grenadian 400m runner and lovely chap Kirani James asking to swap shirt numbers with Oscar Pistorius after the latter's exit from the event in the semi-finals.
Mo Farah, fresh from winning the 10k, stopping to help stepdaughter Rhianna with her shoes so she could join him on a lap of honour. Double gold medal-winners Jason Kenny and Laura Trott smooching at the beach volleyball. Andy Murray finally getting the chance to "do a Pat Cash" and embrace his family, coaches and girlfriend Kim after winning the men's singles final. And, the famously not-so-chummy-anymore pair, David Cameron and Boris Johnson hugging it out in the Olympic Stadium on Super Saturday.
Best public display of disaffection
Football Fans at the women's gold medal match spontaneously booing Fifa chief Sepp Blatter as he went to present the gold medals to the US women's team.
Best camera work
Kobe Bryant may be an NBA great, but when it came to snapping Roger Federer at Wimbledon he was left wanting. (Someone had to tell him to remove the lens cap on the camera).
Usain Bolt celebrated his sprint double by doing a Bono and borrowing a photographer's camera to take his own shots. The main stadium's air bongo-cam – in which spectators are encouraged to play imaginary drums. (See also the velodrome's kiss-cam, which gave the BBC's Jake Humphrey the chance to plant one on Mark Cavendish.)
Best horse names
Damon Hill, ridden by Helen Langehanenberg (Germany), named after the former F1 driver. Big Star, ridden by Nick Skelton (GB), named after the 1970s power pop band. Gin & Juice, ridden by Hawley Bennett-Awad (Canada), named after Snoop Dogg's favourite cocktail. Passat, ridden by Alena Tseliapushkina (Belarus), named after the VW sedan. Mister Pooh, ridden by Niklas Lindback (Sweden), named after his imaginary friend.
Best nominative determinism
Vania Stambolova (Bulgaria), fell in the first heat of the women's 400m hurdles.
Rich Fellers (USA), came eighth in individual show jumping, riding his horse Flexible. Usain Bolt (Jamaica), went like lightning to win more sprint gold.
Edith Bosch (Netherlands), judo bronze medallist, whacked the man suspected of throwing a plastic bottle onto the track before the men's 100m final.
Poorest efforts
Taoufik Makhloufi (Algeria), disqualified from the men's 800m for a lack of effort, produced a doctor's note claiming a knee injury, and miraculously won the 1500m final the following day.
Spanish cycle mechanics, or whoever fitted the chain to Luis Leon Sanchez Gil's bicycle, which snapped as he left the start ramp his time trial. Track sprinter Juan Peralta Gascon also had a mechanical failure in the keirin. Ay caramba!
Badminton The race to the bottom between China, Indonesia and South Korea to see who could lose the most convincingly.
Michael Phelps (USA), competed in just seven events, compared to the eight he won in Beijing. Pfft. Lazy, right?
Best erection correction
"This is me and I swear it is not erect," said Henrik Rummel, bronze medal-winning US rower, after a picture purporting to show him with a full-on tentpole went viral. "I don't know why it ended up in that position," he wrote on Reddit, "but there you go."
Best celebrations
Robert Harting The discus thrower roared as he tore off his shirt, hulk-style, then grabbed a German flag and had a bash at the 100 metre hurdles. Tomasz Majewski In an attempt to find a Polish flag in which to clothe himself, shot-putter Majewski ran blindly across the stadium, narrowly avoiding becoming an unscheduled hurdle in the women's 10,000 metres.
Unidentified US water-polo coach Following his colleagues and the women in jumping into the pool, the coach, estimated weight about 13 stone, jumped crotch-first onto the head of a fellow coach.
Best volunteer jobs
Kit holder Those behind Usain Bolt's starting blocks had the fastest man alive joke and bump fists with them right before setting off to make history. Mini Mini driver Gareth Goh, 16 was one of those in charge of the remote controlled Minis that returned javelins, shots and discuses to competitors. Best. Summer. Job. Ever.
Wenlock Everyone thought you were stupid but you did get to hug all the athletes at their moment of glory.
Sweat-mopper: Mopping up the sweat of badminton and volleyball players may not have been glamourous, but it was guaranteed to get you on telly. Hi Mum!
Drown watch Helpers on canoes floated alongside the triathlon and 10k swims to rescue exhausted competitors, meaning their task was as heroic as a real Olympian's.
Best use of public transport
US men's basketball What a delight it was to see a picture of the multi-millionaire superstar team, including LeBron James and Kobe Bryant, eschewing chauffeur-driven cars to catch a train from Olympic Park. Rubé* Limardo Having just won the fencing, Limardo of Venezuela hopped onto the Docklands Light Railway with his gold medal proudly round his neck. The entire carriage erupted in applause.
Lashinda Demus The silver-winning 400 metre runner loved riding the 257 bus home each evening. Team Rwanda One of the greatest images off-field will surely be some of the Rwandan Olympic team at a local bus stop in Shoreditch. Wonderful.
Best blubbing
Sir Chris Hoy If even the redoubtable Hoy was crying, what chance the rest of us? Hoy wept as he stepped onto the podium to collect his sixth career gold. Felix Sanchez: The Dominican 400m hurdler won gold in Athens in 2004 and again in London. As he accepted his medal, the heavens opened and Sanchez broke down. "It just made me feel like my grandmother was crying tears of joy," he said.
The British public: We started at the opening ceremony and carried on for two weeks. Whether triumphant or disappointed, if an Olympian cried, a nation blubbed with them. Sniff.
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