The Last Word: Technical area makes clowns of ringmasters

Feathers will keep flying because white lines invite conflict – as cockfighting has shown

We shouldn't make light of flare-ups such as Moyes versus Mancini - another blow for the Respect campaign (GETTY IMAGES)

I know who my money would have been on. How many times has that statement been said in the few days since Roberto Mancini squared up to David Moyes? It's a stupid thing to say on a few counts. Not least because you should never make assumptions about how tough a chap happens to be by (a) his hairstyle; and (b) his scarf. Believe it or not, not every hard man has mad eyes, ginger hair and comes from Glasgow.

But this infuriatingly overused quip is primarily numbskulled because it makes light of such a damaging scenario. These managers are supposed to be in charge, for goodness' sake. What chance of those spoiled little brats in the schoolyard behaving themselves if their guardians at the gate are squabbling over whose ball it is? We can safely deduce from this latest example of "Gaffer Handbags" that the FA's Respect campaign is not going quite to plan.

Of course, these flare-ups have occurred since some dolt decided it was a good idea to make one individual accountable for personnel and tactics. Football journalists of a certain vintage do claim, however, that they were of a "goalkeeper scores a goal" rarity. Now they occur every other weekend. Last Sunday, an official had to place himself between Rafael Benitez and Sir Alex Ferguson. And yes, we all know who we would have had our money on.

So what's changed over the decades? The pressure? The cameras? The egos? Probably all three, although I would suggest those ridiculous marked-out oblongs on the side of the pitch are most culpable. Ever since Fifa introduced the "technical area" in 1993, the managers have felt compelled to stand up and wave their arms around in a decidedly non-technical fashion. Those who did follow the example of Sir Alf Ramsey or Bob Paisley and remained imperviously in their dug-outs soon suffered for their modesty. They were accused of lacking passion, of being cowardly even. In truth, they merely recognised a quaint old notion that the manager in a football match should be like the director of a play – in attendance, but not in sight. Alas, the technical area has turned the ringmasters into clowns.

The very geometrics and geography of the white lines invite conflict. They draw similar zones in cockfighting, you know. The crowd then baits and hollers whenever the combatants dare to encroach. The feathers proceed to fly and the bloodthirsty go home satisfied.

The trouble is the cocks are supposed to be the protagonists; the managers aren't. But the technical area helps foster the illusion that they are deeply involved in the action and that every finger-point, every yell, every roll of the eyes has a major effect. Fans actually expect to see their bosses in full theatrical mode, like some great conductor. Managers used to say the majority of their work was completed in the week; now they are required to wear themselves out on match day. Little wonder they feel obliged to lose it when it is going badly. For as Arsène Wenger said in his absurd midweek justification of his profession's spats: "It shows that we're human, it shows we care."

Fifa should get out the paint- strippers forthwith. When the governing body introduced the law they did so "to improve the quality of the game". But as Stanley Lover, the former president of the Football League Referees Association, puts it: "Visible coaches cause more harm to the game than players. The technical area only serves as a stage for the maniacs."

Golf's shame over Green

A certain individual has made this a rather uncertain time for American golf. What it does not need is any more negative publicity. Positive stories, anyone? Step forward Ken Green, with your prosthetic limb and all your inspirational possibilities. Last June, the former Ryder Cup player lost his partner and his brother in a car crash.

Green was the lucky one, although his own injuries meant him losing his lower right leg.It has a been slow and painful road since, during which further emotional devastation has hit with the death of his 21-year-old son from an accidental overdose. The light at the end of a seemingly never-ending tunnel was his two-year seniors exemption for winning more than two events on the US Tour proper. Green had only used up 11 monthswhen tragedy struck, so still had 13 to go. The only things stopping him in a quest to become the Champions Tour's first amputee were his physical and mental handicaps.

Wrong. The golfing authorities have turned down his "medical extension", quoting some complex small-print.

Green has a few months until his two years run out - and then he's on his own. He will have to write to sponsors to gain invites, basically offering himself up as a freak show. All because of golf's continued obsession with its precious rules.

How obscene. The officials are prepared to ignore their regulations in regards of Tiger Woods and bringing the tour into disrepute. But when it comes to a member really in need of a little leeway they return to being belligerence in blazers.

Green is crushed. For the first time he must face the reality of the ambitions which drove him. "Maybe Iwas putting too much on coming back in golf as a coping mechanism," he wonders. Yes, well done, American golf. But then, at least you'll soon have that cash-cow called Tiger back. That's all that matters, isn't it?

Farce after FA-rce

If you want to know why the Football Association go through nearly as many chief executives as Queens Park Rangers go through managers, look no further than Lord Triesman's extraordinary claim that Ian Watmore's resignation would have no bearing whatsoever on the 2018 World Cup bid. Apparently, that's because Watmore had nothing to do with the bid.

Think about that for a second. The chief executive was not involved in his company's efforts to land the biggest contract in the marketplace. Too many chiefs does not begin to describe it.

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Do you agree or disagree with James Corrigan? Email your thoughts about any article in The Independent on Sunday's sport section to the editor: m.padgett@independent.co.uk